Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Tits With Drinks - click on the image below

Click on the image above to see the lovely ladies with their boobs hanging out while having a few drinks. Boobsrbeautiful and Bigtitsintightshirts presents our Drink Special. Can you think of anything better than a woman with her tits half out with a drink? Give her another and who knows what might happen.

[Via http://bigtitsintightshirts.wordpress.com]

the "best" anime of 2009

Well since apparently JP’s 2008 post was popular I figured we should do one for 2009. Obviously this is mostly opinion based (at least from my stand point) but this year I think it’s better than both of us contribute to the 2009 year in review.

My section of this post is going to be more like a look back over the anime blogging over the past year. The most memorable show that stands out to me is Eden of the East and everything else is pretty much forgettable …but let’s remember just for a moment.

January started out the year with the usual mediocre winter shows. I raged about the feces that was White Album but yet I ended up watching Ass no Yoichi anyway. I attempted to watch Kurokami only to then give up because I got sick of them constantly punching little girls in the face and killing someone every episode. Also, simulcast dubs are really lame Bandai.The most memorably terrible by awesome show for the winter season was probably Akikan (and its OVA).

The spring season in April brought us new shows while I was away in Florida. This included the infamous sacks of lactating fat that somehow got a season 2. It also included some great hits like Requiem for Phantom, Eden of the East and Valkyria Chronicles. This season also spurred some long running shows that I’m currently still watching like Hanasakeru Seishounen and the remake of Full Metal Alchemist. For reasons unknown I also sat through crap like Tayutama, and Hatsukoi Limited (although I guess the fact that the manga was cut off itself didn’t help make the anime plot any better.) Oh yea KyotoAnimation pooped out K-On but I figured my Lucky Aids rage from 2007 was not due for a revisit. Also Hahiru 2009 doesn’t count as an anime, seriously you lazy fucks why don’t you make some good shows like you used to back before 2007? :evil:

June brought us the 2nd Evangelion movie – which I still haven’t seen. July brought the usual terrible summer lineup and the only thing I even wasted my time on was Sora no Manimani.  Then came October with it’s slew of fall shows. Unfortunately because DVD  and merchandise sales are the only thing driving companies these days, there was too little to pick out of this dump. NyanKoi was alright but mainly because of the talking nukos.  On the topic of domestic animals, Inuyasha came back once more to finally close off the damn anime series and it looks like they’re cutting the filler by killing 1 bad guy per week.

The most memorable show of the fall season had to be Miracle Train, because let’s face it, how many shows have we seen about multiple hot bishies waiting to solve your problems since….uh Ouran Host Club? And although I didn’t bother to watch it (for obvious reasons), I think everyone knows about the Sora no Otoshimono’s panty crusade.  Then of course there were disaster’s like Haruka Season 2 ~Vulgarity~, and the Mahoro OVA. There’s continuing series that I’m still watching like Fairy Tail (which feels like  a Rave ripoff no matter how I look at it) and Kimi ni Todoke (which is awesome but too much slowpoke.jpg)

Oh and we also hit our 1 year blogaversary ever since being DDOSed by a bunch of raging Shugo Chara fans.

And now, for JP’s “awards” for the “best” anime of 2009:

THE “AWARDS” WHERE I JUST MAKE FUN OF STUFF:

“Best” DUDE YOU HAVE TO CHECK OUT THIS AMAZING ‘JAPANIMATION’! IT’S NOT KID’S STUFF LIKE DISNEY CARTOONS!: First Squad

This should be all you need to see.

Biggest yuri rickroll: Taishou Yakyuu Musume

taishou yakyuu musume handholding kyaaaah

I mean seriously. The first couple eps are all like “KYAAAAAH, ONEE-SAMA!” but the second it’s time to play some baseball (read: play some baseball against wholesome boys) that turns into “KYAAAAAAH, WHOLESOME BOYS!”

Finest cats and finest cat finery: Nyankoi

nyan koi a cat is fine too

Nyanko-sensei might’ve been the finest cat singular, but Nyankoi had the higher cumulative total.

“Best” Engrish: Hanasakeru Seishounen

hanasakeru seishounen rumaty kyaaaah bishounen

Carl totally said “Ore no purepu sukuuru to bijinesu sukuuru no sukasshu tiimu” once. Also, there was the one episode early on where Eugene spoke in English the entire time, causing all the Japanese females to KYAAAAAAAH.

The Manos: The Hands of Fate award for most redundant title, “best” conflation of violence and sexuality and “best” boobchomp boobgrab: Phantom: Requiem for the Phantom

phantom requiem for the phantom reiji grabs claudia's boob

I want to make one of those Advice Dog pictures for this show where the two choices are “KILL SOMEONE” and “GRAB CLAUDIA’S HUGE-ASS TITTY”

Most necessary tie-in: Saki tacos

saki tacos yuki

Even if they were supposed to be pretty nasty.

The Straight Cougar Memorial Award for most ridiculous Sunrise character name: Every single Innovator

gundam 00 s2 innovators have stupid names, right anew?

I mean seriously, “Bring Stabity”? “Hiling Care”?

Most ridiculous non-Sunrise name: The cast of Hanasakeru Seishounen

hanasakeru seishounen international intrigue over oil and wealth

Nia from Asura Cryin’ might have the most ridiculous singular name, but the sheer number of ridiculous ones here (Kajika Louisa Kugami Burnsworth, Rumaty Ivan dai Laginay) crowds her out. Plus, there’s just something about the way that “BAANZUWAASU” or “KWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINZA!” just rollllllllls off the tongues of everyone that say them in that show.

FANSERVICE

Most annoying fanservice trend: peeing

juuden-chan plug pisses herself

Although the more important question: with Seikon no Qwaser in 2010, will breast milk be worse than this?

Bustiest lolis: Asu no Yoichi

huge fuckin' loli tittayzzz

I mean, dayamn.

Most ridiculous boobage: Queen’s Blade

queen's blade exploding boobs literally

Starting next year, this will be renamed as the “Queen’s Blade memorial award”.

Most necessary fanservice element: Accentuated asscheeks

hatsukoi limited accentuated asscheeks

Oh look, this won last year, too.

“Best” source material: Princess Lover

it's not even worth trying to censor this cg when it's a picture of a pregnant charlotte hazelink lactating and squirting while being fucked in the ass

I think the picture says it all.

Dreamiest bishie: Bae Yong-jun

kyaaaah yon-sama

I lost count of how many years it took the Winter Sonata anime to finally arrive, BUT IT WAS WORTH IT KYAAAAAAH YON-SAMA!

The Strike Witches award for the show that uh, “normal” people would have watched if not for the ridiculous fanservice: Fight Ippatsu! Juuden-chan

juuden-chan plug tentacle rape

Honestly guys, was the peeing worth it? You couldn’t have just stuck with plain ol’ tentacle rape?

HALL OF SHAME:

Gundam Seed Destiny Memorial Award for the series that could’ve been best improved if I (or in this case, Mamoru Oshii) had written it: Rideback

uo! mabushii!

Seriously, Rideback could’ve gone in about two or three different directions (exciting racing series! psychological drama about life under occupation!) and turned out really good. Instead, it tries to be mecha Princess Tutu or something and yes, that is every bit as dumb as it sounds. I was even willing to give it the suspension of disbelief that a ballerina can instantly become an expert motorcyle racer overnight. I just couldn’t give the political intrigue any suspension of disbelief, however.

Guiltiest pleasure: Hanasakeru Seishounen

This is a guilty pleasure for two reasons. The first is that I am a man in his late 20’s and not a girl in her early teens. The second is because this is hands down the campiest show of the year. Chiaki Kon strikes again!

PS: BAAAAAAAAAAANZUWAAAAAAAAASU!

Worst sports series: Saki

oh look, the 13 orphans

While Saki is a pretty fun series, the mah jong portion is SO BAD. I didn’t know anything about mah jong before I started watching the show, but started to figure things out as I went along when suddenly I realized just how stupid all the abilities were and how all the “amazing” skill was just blind luck. Imagine if this was a poker show, and people had “abilities” like that they will always flop a full house if they keep 2-7 off (Hisa), or always make the nuts on the river when they go all-in (Koromo), or that their “signature hand” is four kings.

SUGOIEST series and most surprisingly bad series: Canaan

Seriously, Famitsu? This is what gets a 40/40 nowadays?

Uncanniest valley: Mecha Mote Iinchou

THEY GAZE INTO YOUR SOUL!

QUALITY-est animation: Akikan

akikan dat sure is sum QUALITY animation there

And that’s just from what I had easily accessible for screencaps.

Biggest sequel dropoff and most misleading title: Haruka Nogizaka’s Secret ~Purity~

haruka nogizaka's secret is that she wants cawk

Who would’ve guessed that a show called “Haruka Nogizaka’s Secret ~Purity~” would be not about Haruka Nogizaka, her secret, or purity, and would instead be about another character gaining a harem of scantilly-clad filler characters while the titular character vanishes for weeks at a time?

Most unnecessary OVA: Mahoromatic

ecchi na no wa ikenai to omoimasu etc

Was anyone clamoring for this?

This year’s “ZOMG ANIME IS DYING” award: K-ON

dont say lazy dont say crazy blah blah go fap to this now

Normally, my reaction to moe-centric shows is “Eh, I don’t really like these” and go watch something else. Sometimes, there even ends up being one that I like, such as Ichigo Mashimaro. K-ON showed me the line in the sand with moe-centric shows where “Eh, I don’t really like these” becomes frothing at the mouth ranting and anger.

Worst something of the year, if I could figure out what that something was: Miracle Train

the centaur is not alex rodriguez

Let’s see: bizarre premise, incredibly creepy setup that the show doesn’t realize is creepy (women wander onto an empty train and then are cornered by a masked man), completely tl;dr text dumps (let’s go list the width in millimeters of all the tracks!), awful CG, completely nonsensical cameo from Alex Rodriguez, and oh yeah, the fact that it’s a show about train stations personified as bishies.

Worst series of the year, if I am really just trying to troll: Haruhi season 2

How bad was Endless Eight? It was so bad that it went beyond making us question why we liked the first season of Haruhi so much. No, it was so bad that it instead made us question even if we like the first season of Haruhi any more.

Worst anime of the year, if I am allowed to count incest shota rape softcore porn: Aki Sora

its not even worth tryign to censor any screencaps of incest shota bed rape or incest shota bath rape

Where else but a shota incest rape softcore porn OVA can we learn that breasts can be touched and sucked on within the first five minutes? I should also mention that this is explicitly stated, rather than implied through the visuals.

Worst series of the year, if I am not allowed to count incest shota rape softcore porn: Seitokai no Ichizon

shitsuxktksbai

We now have the anime equivalent of those Freidburg & Seltzer (blank) Movie “parodies”.

AND FINALLY, THE NON-SARCASTIC AWARDS:

Best OP and best shoujo series: Kimi ni Todoke

Can you GET any more sawayaka than this? NO YOU CANNOT DON’T EVEN TRY.

Best ED: Sora no Otoshimono

And while we’re at it, the best promotion as well.

Best fanservice series and “best” fanservice series: Queen’s Blade

The best way to sum up Queen’s Blade is how one of the characters gets all her clothes burned off by acid breast milk in the first episode. She then walks to the next town over the course of several days in the next episode along with one of the other characters. Neither of them ever point out in any way that one of them has been walking around naked for days.

Best comedy: Hatsukoi Limited

it was either this or some nudidity

2009 wasn’t a very good year for comedies for me, but Hatsukoi Limited was probably the best of the bunch. I can recall it actually making me laugh once or twice! Also, aforementioned accentuated asscheeks.

Best moe-centric series: Saki

miyanaga-san...haramura-san...

While I thought that the mah jong was really stupid, oddly enough the non-mah jong parts of the show were surprisingly winning. The show somehow managed to give each character juuuuuust enough time to do something endearing, which is no mean feat considering how enormous the cast is.

Best sports series most surprisingly good series: Cross Game Taishou Yakyuu Musume

No wait, there is no documented evidence of anyone ever watching Cross Game. The real answer is Taishou Yakyuu Musume

Best shounen series and best sequel: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

moar like fma brofist amirite

It’s weird. I’ve never really had much to say about Bro-hood, but there’s a kind of competence to it that just makes it seem easy. Or something?

Best action series and the IT’S OK IF I’M THE DEVIL Memorial Award for AWESOMENESS: Sengoku Basara

oyakata-sam! yukimura!

YUKIMURA!

OYAKATA-SAMA!

YUKIMURA!

OYAKATA-SAMA!

PS: Wakamoto as Nobunaga

PPS: PUT YA GUNS ON

Best something of the year, if I could figure out what that something was: Cencoroll

do a cencoroll

Again, hell if I can describe what exactly it was about Cencoroll that I liked, so let’s just go with “bursting with creativity”

Best show, if I get to ignore the second half and best penis-centric show: Eden of the East

code penis johnny of the rebellion

I’m hoping/assuming that the Eden of the East movies (which I THINK will be out when we go on vacation to Japan in the spring) will do what the First Gundam movies did for the story. I was really into the show at first, but then it started to either lose control of the story, or they were purposely trying to make the story in a way that screamed “SEE THE MOVIE FOR THE WHOLE STORY!”

Best show, if I get to ignore the last 4 episodes: Tokyo Magnitude 8.0

we carefully researched exactly how a shota ghost would act

Tokyo Magnitude 8.0 was really, really good at first. The tension and suspense were perfectly calibrated and even side characters were able to garner instant sympathy. Then Yuuki “dies”, Mirai trips ballz, and we get some bullshit Sixth Sense shit.

Anime of the year: Isshouni Training

Anime needs to be made on the cheap. Corners need to be cut whenever possible. What’s a great way to cut corners and reduce the amount of frames you need animated? Stock footage. You know what else is repetitive? Exercising. You know what people like to see over and over again? Boobs. And then they caught lightning in a bottle.

So all in all, 2009 was pretty average. Summer was better than average, Fall was below average, and Winter and Spring were average.

[Via http://jphinano.wordpress.com]

I'm going with Plan B

I’m back, baby.

I needed a break, some time with my besties, major snuggling with my bunnies, baking, and stuff. It is good to take time to look back on the year and think about how I plan to move forward in the next decade. Good times.

As I sat by the fire with a bunny and a beer, I started thinking about how many words I like that begin with the letter B. I think it may be my second-favorite letter, after L, of course. (I love the letter L! It’s such a lovely, luscious and limber letter!) Since I love making lists, I decided to jot down a few of my favorite B-words. Brilliant, right? Don’t make fun of me. I like actually writing on paper with a nice pen. It feels good. It is therapeutic, like the lists. Note: I used a purple pen because purple is my favorite color and it begins with P, my third-favorite letter.

  1. Bunnies. Duh. If you don’t know how much I love bunnies, then you don’t know me. Period. My bunnies make me so happy. I love hugging them, playing with them, and photographing them. “A bunny’s a delightful habit, No home’s complete without a rabbit.” — Marshmallow by Clare Turlay Newberry.
  2. Beer. Um, duh, again. I love delicious beer. I love drinking delicious beers with my friends at my favorite bar. Mmm… beer. True fact: I do not like hoppy beers, but I like hoppy rabbits.
  3. Banjo. If you read this old but newly posted blog, you will see that way back in March I wrote about my desire to learn how to play the banjo, and you will understand my love of the banjo and how unbelievably excited I was to open my presents on Christmas morning and find that Santa gave me a banjo! Best Chrismukkah ever. Now it’s time for banjo lessons.
  4. Books. Hello? Librarian here! I love books. I love to give books, I love to receive books. I love to smell books, I love to read books. That’s a whole lot of love.
  5. Boys. The cute ones who are really smart and funny. That’s what I’m talking about. Clever boys, sweet boys. I don’t like stinky boys. I like boys who shower often, don’t have much chest hair, and would never grow a stupid mustache. Yummy boys. Note: I am not currently accepting applications for new boys — well, not unless you are a totally fabulous gay boy, because gay boyfriends are like Jell-O.
  6. Birthdays. I am not afraid of getting older. I love birthdays. In fact, I just had a birthday a few weeks ago, and it was awesome.
  7. Butter. Real butter. Buttery grits, buttered muffins, butter cookies, butter pecan ice cream. Mmm… butter. Go ahead with your Paula Deen jokes, but butter makes me happy.
  8. Balls. Big balls. You know, those giant illuminated balls that people hang from trees during the holidays? Love those. I like the big paper lantern balls, too. And I like saying the word. Balls.
  9. Boobs. Bong. Beaver. Baboon. Bamboo. Bumble. Just saying these words makes me happy. Go ahead. Say them out loud. Fun, isn’t it?
  10. Buffalo. The Beautiful Buffalo River makes me happy. It is one of the most beautiful places on earth.
  11. Bonus. A bonus is always good. Here are a few bonuses: Brownies. Besties. Badminton. And finally, Bench Monday. Wuh-hat? Yeah, you heard me. Bench Monday. This will make more sense (maybe) when you see what led to the discovery of Bench Monday.

Yesterday, Monday, morning. I’m still in my pajamas, looking at the internets, chatting with my friend Darla, and I see that she posted a new photo to her flickr page. I also notice that she added it to the group Bench Monday, and that made me laugh. Being the good friend that she is, Darla tells me to take a photo and add it to the Bench Monday pool. Yes, she dared me to do it, and I did it — quickly. It felt really good. All joking aside, I ended up taking this really awesome photo, if I do say so myself. It makes me happy, at least. Thank you, Darla. I will never make fun of your odd flickr groups again.

Banjo Bench Monday

There you go. Happy B words. Now, I’m going to go ahead and start working on Plan B, because I really think it’s the better plan.

[Via http://librarianlyssa.wordpress.com]

Monday, December 28, 2009

Calendar Girls Day: Lavazza edition and short Music Moment

I realize I am inundating you with these Italian ad calendars, but I don’t know what to tell you — Italians just do it best! These are gorgeous, hi-res pics, so be sure to click to see them full-sized.

Luigi Lavazza S.p.A. is a 115-year-old, Turin-based coffee company. Since the early 90’s, Lavazza has put out a yearly artistic promotional calendar somewhat akin to Pirelli and Campari, full of beautiful women, although usually with less trumpet-blasting and more clothes on. This year’s campaign appears to be centered around music, chiefly opera. It was shot by no less than Miles Aldridge (past photographic artists have been Annie Leibovitz, Helmut Newton, and patron saint David LaChapelle) and features models Georgia Frost, Bianca Balti, Lydia Hearst, Daisy Lowe, Alek Alexeyeva, and Alexandra Tomlinson. (To the opera end, click below to hear while you’re browsing the pics, which will open in their own windows, my favorite recording of “Nessun Dorma (None shall sleep)” from Puccini’s Turandot, performed by Katherine Jenkins, who I normally don’t tremedously like, but this is a great arrangement, almost as good as Pavarotti’s, without treading on it. It really takes off at the :43 mark for me.)

Katherine Jenkins – Nessun Dorma



Alek Alexeyeva: “Va’ Pensiero (“Thought Goes,” aka “Chorus of the Hebrew Slaves,” Verdi, Nabucco).”

On various occasions, it has been suggested that “Va’ pensiero” replace the Inno di Mameli as the Italian National Anthem, and more recently has been appropriated by the Italian Northern Separatist movement, the Lega Nord, as the National Anthem of the unrecognized state of Padania. (the wiki)

Cool, huh? But the rest is going to focus on “Nessun Dorma.”



Georgia Frost: “Nessun Dorma (“None Shall Sleep,” Turandot, Puccini).”

It is sung by Calaf, il principe ignoto (the unknown prince), who falls in love at first sight with the beautiful but cold Princess Turandot. However, any man who wishes to wed Turandot must first answer her three riddles; if he fails, he will be beheaded.

In the act before this aria, Calaf has correctly answered the three riddles put to all of Princess Turandot’s prospective suitors.



Daisy Lowe: “Con Te PartirĂ² (With You I Will Leave/Time To Say Goodbye).”

Nevertheless, she recoils at the thought of marriage to him. Calaf offers her another chance by challenging her to guess his name by dawn. (As he kneels before her, the Nessun dorma theme makes a first appearance, to his words, “Il mio nome non sai!”) If she does so, she can execute him; but if she does not, she must marry him. The cruel and emotionally cold princess then decrees that none of her subjects are to sleep that night until his name is discovered. If they fail, all will be killed.



Alexandra Tomlinson: “Guarda Che Luna (Look, What a Beautiful Moon).”

In 2009, singer Antony Hegarty, lead singer of Antony and the Johnsons recorded the aria with the Roma Sinfonietta Orchestra, which was released for free by the Italian coffee company, Lavazza. While the orchestration of the recording is Puccini’s original, Hegarty performs the song with his famous, quavering delivery. (the wiki)



Bianca Balti: “‘O Sole Mio (Oh, My Sun).” (my favorite version is Elvis Presley’s.)

Oh, my sun, like, did you want to hear that version of “Nessun Dorma” where skinny hipster Antony Hegarty jacks Pavarotti’s signature piece for profit and makes it all about himself? Go find it yourself; until he proves to me he has a shred of redeeming value as a person that isn’t dripping with deliberate ironic self-references and materialistic perpetual adolescence, I do not care for that pretentious twat and I won’t be part of his making money.



Lydia Hearst: “Baciami piccina (Kiss me, little one).” (I had a dream a while back that had Lydia Hearst in it, but she was still a redhead in my dream.)

Don’t get me wrong, here. I don’t mind a dork even at all but I prefer if they are not hipstery, cynical, judgmentally snobby deliberate nerds. I like that kind of un-self-aware, loveably sweet, dorky-in-spite-of-themselves type of dork and I always go much more for a geek of any stripe (computer, academic, video game, sci-fi television, music, biting-the-heads-off-chickens, etc) that has got a little bit of heart and soul. ie: Kindness, faith, charity, optimism, forgiveness, non-materialism — and DEALBREAKER ALERRRRRRT no jeans that could be mistaken for mine. Super-sorry!

[Via http://thethoughtexperiment.wordpress.com]

Calendar Girls Day: Campari Edition

The Campari calendar is similar to the Pirelli calendar in terms of history and intent, albeit Campari’s is ostensibly promotional photoshoots for alkyhol and not auto parts. But they both still heavily feature naked famous beautiful ladies, shot by artistic and internationally famous photographers. Don’t you just love the way Italian marketing works? Italians know how to Sell It. You are so jealous right now that you’re not Italian. Don’t front.



Salma Hayek by Mario Testino for Campari, 2007 calendar.

Eschewing the blonde stick aesthetic, Campari has traditionally featured calendars solely modeled by luminary multi-ethnic beauties known for their bodies, such as Eva Mendes, Salma Hayek, and Jessica Alba. This year’s Campari model is model-actress Olga Kurylenko, native of the Ukraine and the latest Bond girl (she played Camille Montes in Quantum of Solace). I’m a little bummed because she’s airbrushed within an inch of her life and she seems to have gone on some kind of crash diet since her Bond turn, with the result that I’ve had boyfriends with bigger tits. See below:

So they are moving a bit away from their hourglass lasses of the last few years. Don’t get me wrong — Olga Kurylenko still looks very beautiful, though, and recognizably feminine. The calendar is totally worth checking out. Here is another large example:

See? Classy and hot in that sophisticated, kind of uppity Euro-glam way. If stuff like that there is your thing, then swing by the Gruppo Campari official site to ogle some more, and consider giving their new drink Red Passion, which is what this calendar issue is allll about promoting (Olga K is from a former soviet-bloc country: “Red” passion; get it? you know I’m on board!) a tipple or ten. Again — click any picture to see it enlarged!



“Olga was a natural choice: an international actress, with great charm, grace, elegance and sensuality that represents the perfect incarnation of the Campari brand.” (message from Bob Kunze-Concewitz, CEO of Gruppo Campari.)

Besides promoting Red Passion, the calendar’s 2010 theme is Campari Milani. It was shot on location in Milan by native rising star, experimental fashion and portrait photographer Simone Nervi, whose vision and composition Campari obviously does not respect highly enough not to airbrush the unholy fuck out of his work.



“I have a great passion for life and for the work that I do, I enjoy being constantly active. For this reason, I feel a sense of affinity with Campari, which like me is dynamic, passionate and cosmopolitan.” (Olga Kurylenko)

[Via http://thethoughtexperiment.wordpress.com]