Wednesday, December 30, 2009

the "best" anime of 2009

Well since apparently JP’s 2008 post was popular I figured we should do one for 2009. Obviously this is mostly opinion based (at least from my stand point) but this year I think it’s better than both of us contribute to the 2009 year in review.

My section of this post is going to be more like a look back over the anime blogging over the past year. The most memorable show that stands out to me is Eden of the East and everything else is pretty much forgettable …but let’s remember just for a moment.

January started out the year with the usual mediocre winter shows. I raged about the feces that was White Album but yet I ended up watching Ass no Yoichi anyway. I attempted to watch Kurokami only to then give up because I got sick of them constantly punching little girls in the face and killing someone every episode. Also, simulcast dubs are really lame Bandai.The most memorably terrible by awesome show for the winter season was probably Akikan (and its OVA).

The spring season in April brought us new shows while I was away in Florida. This included the infamous sacks of lactating fat that somehow got a season 2. It also included some great hits like Requiem for Phantom, Eden of the East and Valkyria Chronicles. This season also spurred some long running shows that I’m currently still watching like Hanasakeru Seishounen and the remake of Full Metal Alchemist. For reasons unknown I also sat through crap like Tayutama, and Hatsukoi Limited (although I guess the fact that the manga was cut off itself didn’t help make the anime plot any better.) Oh yea KyotoAnimation pooped out K-On but I figured my Lucky Aids rage from 2007 was not due for a revisit. Also Hahiru 2009 doesn’t count as an anime, seriously you lazy fucks why don’t you make some good shows like you used to back before 2007? :evil:

June brought us the 2nd Evangelion movie – which I still haven’t seen. July brought the usual terrible summer lineup and the only thing I even wasted my time on was Sora no Manimani.  Then came October with it’s slew of fall shows. Unfortunately because DVD  and merchandise sales are the only thing driving companies these days, there was too little to pick out of this dump. NyanKoi was alright but mainly because of the talking nukos.  On the topic of domestic animals, Inuyasha came back once more to finally close off the damn anime series and it looks like they’re cutting the filler by killing 1 bad guy per week.

The most memorable show of the fall season had to be Miracle Train, because let’s face it, how many shows have we seen about multiple hot bishies waiting to solve your problems since….uh Ouran Host Club? And although I didn’t bother to watch it (for obvious reasons), I think everyone knows about the Sora no Otoshimono’s panty crusade.  Then of course there were disaster’s like Haruka Season 2 ~Vulgarity~, and the Mahoro OVA. There’s continuing series that I’m still watching like Fairy Tail (which feels like  a Rave ripoff no matter how I look at it) and Kimi ni Todoke (which is awesome but too much slowpoke.jpg)

Oh and we also hit our 1 year blogaversary ever since being DDOSed by a bunch of raging Shugo Chara fans.

And now, for JP’s “awards” for the “best” anime of 2009:

THE “AWARDS” WHERE I JUST MAKE FUN OF STUFF:

“Best” DUDE YOU HAVE TO CHECK OUT THIS AMAZING ‘JAPANIMATION’! IT’S NOT KID’S STUFF LIKE DISNEY CARTOONS!: First Squad

This should be all you need to see.

Biggest yuri rickroll: Taishou Yakyuu Musume

taishou yakyuu musume handholding kyaaaah

I mean seriously. The first couple eps are all like “KYAAAAAH, ONEE-SAMA!” but the second it’s time to play some baseball (read: play some baseball against wholesome boys) that turns into “KYAAAAAAH, WHOLESOME BOYS!”

Finest cats and finest cat finery: Nyankoi

nyan koi a cat is fine too

Nyanko-sensei might’ve been the finest cat singular, but Nyankoi had the higher cumulative total.

“Best” Engrish: Hanasakeru Seishounen

hanasakeru seishounen rumaty kyaaaah bishounen

Carl totally said “Ore no purepu sukuuru to bijinesu sukuuru no sukasshu tiimu” once. Also, there was the one episode early on where Eugene spoke in English the entire time, causing all the Japanese females to KYAAAAAAAH.

The Manos: The Hands of Fate award for most redundant title, “best” conflation of violence and sexuality and “best” boobchomp boobgrab: Phantom: Requiem for the Phantom

phantom requiem for the phantom reiji grabs claudia's boob

I want to make one of those Advice Dog pictures for this show where the two choices are “KILL SOMEONE” and “GRAB CLAUDIA’S HUGE-ASS TITTY”

Most necessary tie-in: Saki tacos

saki tacos yuki

Even if they were supposed to be pretty nasty.

The Straight Cougar Memorial Award for most ridiculous Sunrise character name: Every single Innovator

gundam 00 s2 innovators have stupid names, right anew?

I mean seriously, “Bring Stabity”? “Hiling Care”?

Most ridiculous non-Sunrise name: The cast of Hanasakeru Seishounen

hanasakeru seishounen international intrigue over oil and wealth

Nia from Asura Cryin’ might have the most ridiculous singular name, but the sheer number of ridiculous ones here (Kajika Louisa Kugami Burnsworth, Rumaty Ivan dai Laginay) crowds her out. Plus, there’s just something about the way that “BAANZUWAASU” or “KWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINZA!” just rollllllllls off the tongues of everyone that say them in that show.

FANSERVICE

Most annoying fanservice trend: peeing

juuden-chan plug pisses herself

Although the more important question: with Seikon no Qwaser in 2010, will breast milk be worse than this?

Bustiest lolis: Asu no Yoichi

huge fuckin' loli tittayzzz

I mean, dayamn.

Most ridiculous boobage: Queen’s Blade

queen's blade exploding boobs literally

Starting next year, this will be renamed as the “Queen’s Blade memorial award”.

Most necessary fanservice element: Accentuated asscheeks

hatsukoi limited accentuated asscheeks

Oh look, this won last year, too.

“Best” source material: Princess Lover

it's not even worth trying to censor this cg when it's a picture of a pregnant charlotte hazelink lactating and squirting while being fucked in the ass

I think the picture says it all.

Dreamiest bishie: Bae Yong-jun

kyaaaah yon-sama

I lost count of how many years it took the Winter Sonata anime to finally arrive, BUT IT WAS WORTH IT KYAAAAAAH YON-SAMA!

The Strike Witches award for the show that uh, “normal” people would have watched if not for the ridiculous fanservice: Fight Ippatsu! Juuden-chan

juuden-chan plug tentacle rape

Honestly guys, was the peeing worth it? You couldn’t have just stuck with plain ol’ tentacle rape?

HALL OF SHAME:

Gundam Seed Destiny Memorial Award for the series that could’ve been best improved if I (or in this case, Mamoru Oshii) had written it: Rideback

uo! mabushii!

Seriously, Rideback could’ve gone in about two or three different directions (exciting racing series! psychological drama about life under occupation!) and turned out really good. Instead, it tries to be mecha Princess Tutu or something and yes, that is every bit as dumb as it sounds. I was even willing to give it the suspension of disbelief that a ballerina can instantly become an expert motorcyle racer overnight. I just couldn’t give the political intrigue any suspension of disbelief, however.

Guiltiest pleasure: Hanasakeru Seishounen

This is a guilty pleasure for two reasons. The first is that I am a man in his late 20’s and not a girl in her early teens. The second is because this is hands down the campiest show of the year. Chiaki Kon strikes again!

PS: BAAAAAAAAAAANZUWAAAAAAAAASU!

Worst sports series: Saki

oh look, the 13 orphans

While Saki is a pretty fun series, the mah jong portion is SO BAD. I didn’t know anything about mah jong before I started watching the show, but started to figure things out as I went along when suddenly I realized just how stupid all the abilities were and how all the “amazing” skill was just blind luck. Imagine if this was a poker show, and people had “abilities” like that they will always flop a full house if they keep 2-7 off (Hisa), or always make the nuts on the river when they go all-in (Koromo), or that their “signature hand” is four kings.

SUGOIEST series and most surprisingly bad series: Canaan

Seriously, Famitsu? This is what gets a 40/40 nowadays?

Uncanniest valley: Mecha Mote Iinchou

THEY GAZE INTO YOUR SOUL!

QUALITY-est animation: Akikan

akikan dat sure is sum QUALITY animation there

And that’s just from what I had easily accessible for screencaps.

Biggest sequel dropoff and most misleading title: Haruka Nogizaka’s Secret ~Purity~

haruka nogizaka's secret is that she wants cawk

Who would’ve guessed that a show called “Haruka Nogizaka’s Secret ~Purity~” would be not about Haruka Nogizaka, her secret, or purity, and would instead be about another character gaining a harem of scantilly-clad filler characters while the titular character vanishes for weeks at a time?

Most unnecessary OVA: Mahoromatic

ecchi na no wa ikenai to omoimasu etc

Was anyone clamoring for this?

This year’s “ZOMG ANIME IS DYING” award: K-ON

dont say lazy dont say crazy blah blah go fap to this now

Normally, my reaction to moe-centric shows is “Eh, I don’t really like these” and go watch something else. Sometimes, there even ends up being one that I like, such as Ichigo Mashimaro. K-ON showed me the line in the sand with moe-centric shows where “Eh, I don’t really like these” becomes frothing at the mouth ranting and anger.

Worst something of the year, if I could figure out what that something was: Miracle Train

the centaur is not alex rodriguez

Let’s see: bizarre premise, incredibly creepy setup that the show doesn’t realize is creepy (women wander onto an empty train and then are cornered by a masked man), completely tl;dr text dumps (let’s go list the width in millimeters of all the tracks!), awful CG, completely nonsensical cameo from Alex Rodriguez, and oh yeah, the fact that it’s a show about train stations personified as bishies.

Worst series of the year, if I am really just trying to troll: Haruhi season 2

How bad was Endless Eight? It was so bad that it went beyond making us question why we liked the first season of Haruhi so much. No, it was so bad that it instead made us question even if we like the first season of Haruhi any more.

Worst anime of the year, if I am allowed to count incest shota rape softcore porn: Aki Sora

its not even worth tryign to censor any screencaps of incest shota bed rape or incest shota bath rape

Where else but a shota incest rape softcore porn OVA can we learn that breasts can be touched and sucked on within the first five minutes? I should also mention that this is explicitly stated, rather than implied through the visuals.

Worst series of the year, if I am not allowed to count incest shota rape softcore porn: Seitokai no Ichizon

shitsuxktksbai

We now have the anime equivalent of those Freidburg & Seltzer (blank) Movie “parodies”.

AND FINALLY, THE NON-SARCASTIC AWARDS:

Best OP and best shoujo series: Kimi ni Todoke

Can you GET any more sawayaka than this? NO YOU CANNOT DON’T EVEN TRY.

Best ED: Sora no Otoshimono

And while we’re at it, the best promotion as well.

Best fanservice series and “best” fanservice series: Queen’s Blade

The best way to sum up Queen’s Blade is how one of the characters gets all her clothes burned off by acid breast milk in the first episode. She then walks to the next town over the course of several days in the next episode along with one of the other characters. Neither of them ever point out in any way that one of them has been walking around naked for days.

Best comedy: Hatsukoi Limited

it was either this or some nudidity

2009 wasn’t a very good year for comedies for me, but Hatsukoi Limited was probably the best of the bunch. I can recall it actually making me laugh once or twice! Also, aforementioned accentuated asscheeks.

Best moe-centric series: Saki

miyanaga-san...haramura-san...

While I thought that the mah jong was really stupid, oddly enough the non-mah jong parts of the show were surprisingly winning. The show somehow managed to give each character juuuuuust enough time to do something endearing, which is no mean feat considering how enormous the cast is.

Best sports series most surprisingly good series: Cross Game Taishou Yakyuu Musume

No wait, there is no documented evidence of anyone ever watching Cross Game. The real answer is Taishou Yakyuu Musume

Best shounen series and best sequel: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

moar like fma brofist amirite

It’s weird. I’ve never really had much to say about Bro-hood, but there’s a kind of competence to it that just makes it seem easy. Or something?

Best action series and the IT’S OK IF I’M THE DEVIL Memorial Award for AWESOMENESS: Sengoku Basara

oyakata-sam! yukimura!

YUKIMURA!

OYAKATA-SAMA!

YUKIMURA!

OYAKATA-SAMA!

PS: Wakamoto as Nobunaga

PPS: PUT YA GUNS ON

Best something of the year, if I could figure out what that something was: Cencoroll

do a cencoroll

Again, hell if I can describe what exactly it was about Cencoroll that I liked, so let’s just go with “bursting with creativity”

Best show, if I get to ignore the second half and best penis-centric show: Eden of the East

code penis johnny of the rebellion

I’m hoping/assuming that the Eden of the East movies (which I THINK will be out when we go on vacation to Japan in the spring) will do what the First Gundam movies did for the story. I was really into the show at first, but then it started to either lose control of the story, or they were purposely trying to make the story in a way that screamed “SEE THE MOVIE FOR THE WHOLE STORY!”

Best show, if I get to ignore the last 4 episodes: Tokyo Magnitude 8.0

we carefully researched exactly how a shota ghost would act

Tokyo Magnitude 8.0 was really, really good at first. The tension and suspense were perfectly calibrated and even side characters were able to garner instant sympathy. Then Yuuki “dies”, Mirai trips ballz, and we get some bullshit Sixth Sense shit.

Anime of the year: Isshouni Training

Anime needs to be made on the cheap. Corners need to be cut whenever possible. What’s a great way to cut corners and reduce the amount of frames you need animated? Stock footage. You know what else is repetitive? Exercising. You know what people like to see over and over again? Boobs. And then they caught lightning in a bottle.

So all in all, 2009 was pretty average. Summer was better than average, Fall was below average, and Winter and Spring were average.

[Via http://jphinano.wordpress.com]

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