NSFW November: Divini Rae, Miss November 2003

The lovely and talented Divini Rae had already come a long way and traveled the world before posing for the centerfold as Playboy’s Miss November, 2003.

Photographed by Arny Freytag

Growing up in a home with no running water or electricity, Divini became an avid reader and graduated early from high school. … A vacation to Sydney, Australia led to modeling and voice-over work. (“Divini Inspiration,” Playboy, November 2003)

TURNOFFS:

Negativity, gossip, jealousy, narcissism & hypocritical puritanism.

ITEMS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT:

A bottle of water at all times, a notepad & pen, dental floss, Chapstick, mango butter lotion & antibacterial hand sanitizer.

FIVE PEOPLE I’D LIKE TO INTERVIEW:

Baz Luhrmann, J.D. Salinger, Marlon Brando, Diane Sawyer & Hugh Hefner, again. (data sheet)

These days, you can catch Ms. Rae on her official site or on the myspace. She is still active in modeling and is pursuing acting and writing as well.

Oh, man. I am so glad I saw this cover of Daryl Hannah. It is hella going to be Daryl Hannah day around here soon. I think about her all the time. Fun facts I randomly can access in my memory banks about Daryl Hannah: 1) She slept with a teddy bear and sucked her thumb well past the age of high school. 2) She and JFK, Jr. had an intricate and complicated nearly-lifelong relationship that spanned the gamut from friends to first sexual relationship to occasional engagement to an eventual bond like brother and sister. His death drove her in to private mourning for several years. 3) She’s never been officially diagnosed, but agrees she is probably borderline autistic, most likely being a rare female with Asperger’s (usually it’s the guys who have that). Wow, I am a huge Daryl Hannah fan. Maybe it’s best we live far apart. ‘Scuse me while I freak out over my freakishness … I just made myself uneasy …

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Advice: Wordy words of wisdom from Jean-Luc Godard that could be construed as pretentious horseshit, I suppose, depending on your outlook but I like them, featuring Anna Karina (slightly NSFW)

Quotes from Godard illustrated by his wife and muse, my own style inspiration and personal patron saint, the lovely and talented* Anna Karina.

*Not sure if you’d noticed, but I only bill as “lovely and talented” those who take it off. Write that down.

All you need to make a movie is a girl and a gun. (Journal entry, 5/16/91)

“Light me up!” Still of Anna Karina as Natacha van Braun from Alphaville, une étrange aventure de Lemmy Caution / Alphaville (1965)

I don’t think you should feel about a movie. You should feel about a woman. You can’t kiss a movie.

Still with Jean-Paul Belmondo from Une femme est une femme / A Woman is a Woman (1961), previously highlighted with “Look, Ma, no gag reflex!” still here back in September.

“In films, we are trained by the American way of moviemaking to think we must understand and ‘get’ everything right away. But this is not possible. When you eat a potato, you don’t understand each atom of the potato!” (Interview with David Sherritt, The Christian Science Monitor, 8/3/94)

Une femme est une femme / A Woman is a Woman (1961)

Art attracts us only by what it reveals of our most secret self. (Critique called “What Is Cinema?” for Les Amis du Cinéma , 10/1/52, a work which advanced the auteur theory but also kind of ripped off Bazin, which is weird cause Bazin would’ve read it and was a big influence on Godard but this was done contemporaneously of Bazin himself working on something titled this, about this, so maybe the quote is misattributed? … or maybe there is more to it than I know with my tiny ken of French movie guys, maybe it was a done thing to borrow titles from one another, or perhaps it was a continuation of a dialogue they were already having both in person and via publications, or, finally, it could even have been an “understood” question which anyone might use as the title of a book or article … I am probably over-reading it.)

Hands down my favorite picture of Anna Karina

Beauty is composed of an eternal, invariable element whose quantity is extremely difficult to determine, and a relative element which might be, either by turns or all at once, period, fashion, moral, passion. (“Defense and Illustration of Classical Construction,” Cahiers du Cinéma, 9/15/52)

Cover or liner art for her album, a collaboration with the dread Serge G

The truth is that there is no terror untempered by some great moral idea. (“Strangers on a Train,” Cahiers du Cinéma 3/10/52 — Godard wrote extensively and insightfully in his early career about the movies of Hitchcock, one of my favorite and I think misunderstood directors; I’ll try to share some good nuggets from time to time)

Anna cahorts about topless as Anne in 1968’s The Magus, also starring Anthony Quinn (Zorba the Greek), Michael Caine, and Candace Bergen (Murphy Brown) — no one seems to like this movie but me. That’s okay, because I like it a lot.

Photography is truth. The cinema is truth twenty-four times per second. (Le petit soldad / The Little Soldier, 1963.)

With Jean-Paul Belmondo again, this time as Ferdinand and Marianne in the sort of romantic-tragi-comedy-crime-caper Pierrot le fou / Crazy Pete / Pierre Goes Wild (1965).

To be or not to be? That’s not really a question. (unsourced)

Screencap with subtitles from Une femme est une femme / A Woman is a Woman (1961).

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Danielle Lloyd Knows How To Use Her Hands

Danielle Lloyd has got covering her tits down to a science. She utilizes her entire arm not just her palm to protect her nipple region in these photos for Nuts Magazine. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a photo set where a girl covered her tits up with hands as much as this one. I applaud you Danielle Lloyd for your talents and your ability to hide your talents. Now shake my hand and let me see that tit.

[Via http://internetpopular.wordpress.com]

Find sexy girls

Some people have fallen in love with internet rendezvous. If you want to meet sexy girls you can definitely find them online. You can go on e-dates and have cybersex and have adult chats and pretty much agree to get married all online. Aren’t 1’s and 0’s sexy?

 There’s still the real world though and most men and women, even the ones that work online, still have flesh bodies. Many of those individuals are interested in meeting other like them. Their all over the place and ready to meet someone just like you… You can find sexy girls that want to meet people. You see the reality of all that connecting on the internet is that people that want to meet in the flesh can be connected with other people that want to meet people in the flesh. You can use a number of different sites that offer these services to individuals.

 Wherever you are, there is probably someone else looking for someone just like you. These services connect people each and every day in locations literally all over the world. There are sexy girls that are looking for other sexy girls or boys for fun and games. You can find sexy girls that want to meet you. All you have to do is use one of these sites and search for whatever you want.

 You don’t have to sit and wonder why you aren’t with a sexy girl. You can do something about it. Did I mention that online services offer a level of privacy and anonymity that many find comforting. When you are trying new things and becoming part of a new community there can be some worries. Many people don’t worry about such things when they set out to find others looking for the same things online. They are comfortable in the security of their homes. They feel free to be themselves and become proactive and search for what they want.

 Many of these sites will allow you to search for free if you want. With no charge there is usually little worry and you can usually search without any charges. You can usually search by location and by other information about the people that use the service. If you are ready to meet sexy girls or at least ready to find sexy girls, and then take a look. The internet can usually connect you with sexy girls in your area or wherever you will be. That’s right you can plan ahead. Many people aren’t searching with last-minute desperation. Sure you might need a spur of the moment date sometimes, but you can plan as well. Whatever you are thinking you can find sexy girls now.

 You don’t have to sit around alone if you don’t want to. If you want to find sexy girls, you can, online. These online searches offer a variety of search options that will help you find sexy girls that are just what you are searching for. There’s a whole community of sexy girls looking to be found and once you begin using the sites they can find you. Connecting like minds, ahh the organization of the technological revolution. It’s at your fingertips and it is how to find sexy girls.

 

[Via http://jedivid.wordpress.com]

Thankfulness

What am I thankful for?

If you expected a panty themed answer you’d be wrong.  Panties are furthest from what I’m thankful for.  I mean, when you go to a grocery store, and you by a pound of honeybaked ham wrapped in paper and a string, do you eat the paper and the string?  Of course not.  When it is Christmas morning, and you unwrap that brand new PS4 you always wanted, do you take the box and paper, and play with it for hours in your room by yourself, or maybe invite your friends over, and say, “Hey!  want to play with my wrapping paper?”  No, of course not.  And if your wife took out a bag from Victoria’s secret, and showed you the new teddy she bought, just for you, would you take it from her, run out of the room and make love to the fabric?  No.

Therefore, I am not thankful for underwear.  I am however, thankful for The Roots.  The writers of the Jimmy Fallon Show.  New shoelaces.  Muppet movies.  Deep dish pizza.   Charlie’s Angels.  The city of Chicago.  Beer. The letter P.  The Renaissance.  Window shades.  Couches.  Socks.  Medicine Balls.  Cuckoo Clocks.  Music.  Pepsi.  Wild Cherry Pepsi.  Pomegranates.  Business Cards.  Buddism.  Tissue.  Picture Frames.  Nature.  Peacocks.  Koalas.  The car engine.  Electricty – the Tesla kind.  Hardwood Floors.  Candles.  South Park.  Russia.  Vegan Milkshakes.  Regular Milkshakes.  Bridges.  Speakers.  Tubas. Sign Language.  Boobs.  T-Shirts.  Underwear.  Apple computers.  Free days at Museums.  and of course, my friends.

And underwear.  I am thankful for underwear.  In general though, not for sexiness sake.  And it is nice to have a present wrapped rather than just say, “Here.  I got you this card, knock yourself out.”

I’m also thankful for you.

WHAT UP.

~Me.

[Via http://surroundedbypanties.wordpress.com]

The Predictability of Human Behavior.

Thank you, people of wordpress.com, for being so predictable. And horny. I’ve already gotten 9 hits because I tagged “boobs”, and 3 hits for “nudity”. Congratulations, everyone, for not only reaching my expectations, but exceeding them. You know who you are. Thanks for increasing my site traffic.

Just so you know, I’m tagging “boobs” again. Because that’s what this post is really about.

[Via http://silvereyedking.wordpress.com]

Kim Kardashian Should Probably Do Me

Thank god for Kim Kardashian. It’s Thanksgiving week and since there’s nothing going on worth posting, Kim hooked us up on Twitter with a pic of her looking extremely fucking hot. I have no idea where this girl came from because she looks like one of those sexy women that only existed on one of those planets on the original Star Trek that was filled with vicous dinosaurs and insects as big as your head. She honestly gets hotter every time I see her and it’s gotten to the point where if I see her about 5 more times my ballsac might explode from over exertion. I think it might be worth it.

[Via http://internetpopular.wordpress.com]

Sex with my brother in law

My name is Manisha. I am 34 now and a happy housewife. My husband Neeraj is 39 and has his own share trading business. I live in Calcutta with my husband. Our house is often visited my many relatives and friends of my hubby.

Once my hubby’s older cousin brother came to our place. His name is Siv Shankar. Siv stays in Australia and runs a food joint there. He is a man with in mid 50’s medium built and with an excellent sense of humor. His wife is an absolute housewife in her late 40’s and loves to talk. As he was quite accustomed with western habits he greeted every body with a hug. On first occasion as he hugged me I was quite embarrassed. But I later found he was quite casual with the whole thing. Siv was a charming person to talk and pass time with. I met him for the first time after my marriage. He also liked talking to me. Within a few days we were quite friendly with each other and we used to go out together for some little shopping and outing as his wife was busy meeting her parents and her relatives. As Siv came to Calcutta after around six years, there were many things that I could show him around.

On a Saturday we planned to go out for dinner. My husband, Siv, his wife and me. We decided to meet in a restaurant in City Center at round 8.00pm. My husband was supposed to come directly from office and Siv’s wife was also coming directly from her parent’s place. Both Siv and I were to go from home. Siv said before going to City Center I would show you a place where I used to hang out before going to Australia. I said ok. Siv took me to a restaurant in China Town, Tangra. It was a small restaurant not very crowded at that time of evening. They were playing soft live music. Few of the couples were dancing on a low-lit dance floor. Siv sat down at a corner table, which was his favorite. He ordered cold drinks and some fish finger. Soon a middle-aged man came smiling towards him. He introduced me to him as John Lee, the owner of the joint.

Siv started to talk about his old days. While he was talking, I was looking at the dance floor. Suddenly he asked me if would like to dance, with some hesitation I said yes. Siv held my hand and took me to the dance floor. I was wearing a sharee and it was bit difficult to manage while dancing. Siv helped me to wrap it around my shoulder in a nice way and put his hand around my waist. We were dancing close to each other. But I was careful not to rub my body against his. He too was very gentle in his behavior. His hand was on my waist and while dancing he slowly moved it over my back. I did not resist to him as I enjoyed dancing and I never get a chance to dance since my marriage. After dancing for about 10-15 mins we left for City Center.

From the next day I noticed Siv was checking me out when every he was alone. Then he made slow advances my touching me at every possible scope. As a woman I could sense that he was attracted towards me. The wife inside me resisted hard not falling prey to his advances. The women inside me encouraged me to go ahead and have an audacious encounter in life. Always there was my full time maid in our house, so his advances were limited to light touching, smiling and more of eye contacts. Couple of days passed, seeing no adverse reaction from my side his advances were becoming bolder day by day.

One morning I was making tea in the kitchen while my hubby was still sleeping and my maid had gone to get the milk. He came up to me and stood very close behind me. I could feel his warm breath on my shoulder. I turned around once to look at him and just smile a bit. Siv slowly wrapped his arms around me from behind and held me tight against his body. I was wearing a housecoat and he was in his pajamas

By nil_dil on Saturday, September 26, 2009 – 3:04 pm:

I could easily feel his rock hard male tool pressed hard against my ass. I was spell bound and did not know how to react. Siv whispered in my ears, “would you like to spend an evening with me today”. I only slowly nodded my head in consent.

We reached China Town at around 7.00pm. I was wearing a long skirt and a top. As we occupied the usual table and ordered some snacks. Siv invited me for dance, which I gladly accepted. Siv was today in a different mood. He was holding me close to him, almost pressing my 34B moulds against his chest. I was also holding him firmly trying to adjust myself in this new role of mine. Time passed and he was holding me tight, taking the liberty of touching my lower back and ass at every possible moment. Then we returned to our table. Siv called Lee and whispered some thing to him. Lee looked at me smiled, nodded his head and went away. Few minutes later, Lee came back and asked us to follow. I was having no idea where we were going. He led us through the kitchen to a corridor and went back. Siv was now holding my hand and took me inside a room at the end of the corridor.

Siv asked me to wait there and went out. It was a dimly lit room with round table and a couple of chairs. A very unusual aroma filled the room. Suddenly slow music started to play from two small speakers. Siv arrived and closed the door. I was shaking inside in anticipation. Siv smiled and said here we can dance in more privacy. Siv pulled me towards him holding my both hands. His fingers were wondering through my hair. He wrapped me in his arm and placed kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes and waited for more. Soon his lips were over mine kissing me.

Slowly & passionately, Siv kissed my lips, his one hand slowly caressing my cheek and the other caressing my back. It was a slow teasing kiss and we were locked in a very tight embrace now. My eyes were closed and Siv was savoring every moment. It was an awe and delight mixed emotions running thru me. Me a faithful married women being kissed by a much older man. Slowly Siv’s hand was traveling down my back caressing my butt over the fabric of my dress. I let out a small moan but did not try to disentangle. Siv was taking his time deep kissing me and slowly massaging my arse cheeks and once in a while venturing in the creek between my arse. Slowly Siv started lifting my dress but at this moment, I slowly pushed him away and teasingly said, “Only a kiss”. My face was flush red now. Siv kept on requesting for one more kiss and I kept on denying him (but all in a fun & joking manner) but gave him one more juicy kiss, this time a small one.

Siv made me sit on the table. As I tasted his tongue once more in my mouth, his hands were busy folding my 34B mould of flesh over my top, making its brown buds hard and erect. Siv shifted his focus to removing my top, which I also did not object as it could get crushed in action. Soon my top was on the chair, leaving me in my white bra and skirt. He also removed his t-shirt, reveling his dark and grey hairy chest and medium potbelly.

He started to draw a line on me with his tongue starting from my neck to the valley of my tits, which were still held by my tight bra. As his tongue reached the valley of my tits he quickly unhooked my bra. His hand and mouth replaced my bra; his mouth coved one of my hard nipples while the other was being folded hard with his hand. After his playfulness was over with my tits, he moved to my belly button. As my moans become deeper and louder he switched to more serious business.

I was still sitting on his table, topless, tits smeared with his saliva and he was standing in front of me unhooking my skirt. As I looked on, my skirt soon joined my top & bra on the chair. Now he removed his pants exposing the great bulge in his underwear with a large wet spot. By now I too was impatient to see his size and he was my first aged man. Soon my curiosity was over, as he pulled down his underwear, releasing his hard tool. It was about 7.5” long but very thick, surrounded with dark and grey hairs. It’s dark red crown shining with his pre-cum looked enormous to me.

Siv pulled down my panties to place it on chair. I tried to cover my love tunnel with both my hands. He was in no mood to stop he made my legs wide apart. I closed my eyes and could feel his warm breath falling on my bare thighs. He must be looking at the entrance my love tunnel. Slowly his tongue started to probe the spot at turtle speed. I was lying on the table hypnotized and was juicing profusely. His tongue was teasing me in every possible way. With every passing moment his tongue was becoming more acrobatic, agile and venturing deep inside my love tunnel. I was unable to control my self; my legs were spread wide apart, as if to welcome more of his adventures tongue. My hands were holding his head tight between my legs so that he can reach deep in me. His hands were kneading both my 34B moulds. This continued for about 4-5 mins or may be more I am not sure of. Suddenly I felt like a shock, as if all my veins are going to explode and body started to sever in an unknown pleasure. I moaned out in pleasure as I experienced my first climax of the day

I lay exhausted on the table trying to adjust myself with the overwhelming feeling. Siv was getting ready to fill me up with his eminence man hood. Unable to understand how to stop Siv from embarking on his latest mission; I pushed Siv on a chair and keened before him taking his male stiffness in my mouth. Siv was in my control now. As my amateur tongue rolled more on the crown of his man hood and I tasted more of his pre-cum his body language changed. He was holding my head gently with his hands giving small strokes, so that his man hood move in and out of my mouth.

Now he was in no mood to wait and nor was I, he again made me sit on the table. Now I was completely naked sitting on a restaurant table with my leg spread apart waiting for the big moment. He felt between my legs with his hand, as if to test if I am moist enough to enter.

Then as I spread my legs apart he stood between them holding his tool in his hand to guide it to its current destiny. He took his tool and gently began to rub it up and down my tunnel lips, making me gasp as it touched my clit. The crown slowly settled at the entrance to my tunnel. He tensed his buttocks as he began to increase the pressure. Suddenly Siv made a slight forward movement as dark crown of his tool head pushed into my tunnel, my tunnel lips distended round its massive girth.

As I looked on with pleasure mixed with fear he slowly with great care guided his rock hard, thick tool in me. As his enormous crown disappeared in me I could feel my love tunnel stretching to almost its limit. Soon inch-by-inch his rock hard tool went deeper in me. I looked on with great surprised the tool, which looked so thick, is accommodated in me without any problem. As he was embedded in me, he closed his eyes in pleasure and I was giving out low, deep moans in pleasure. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closed to me. He slowly started to pump me while holding my thighs spread wide apart. After about 8 to 10 min. of slow but steady action his tool started to enter me with greater vigor producing a chuckling sound, with each of his thrust the table also started to make crackling sound.

Siv then remained motionless for about a min or so to catch his breath. Siv came back to life once again by kissing deep on my lips, which I also responded with equal zeal. Siv started to pump me with long beautiful well-timed strokes. He continued for sometime to sink his erectness into the wet warmth of my love nest.

By then I was no longer sitting on the table. He made me to sleep on the table on my back with my legs well placed on two chairs by the side of the table. I was totally out of control moaning out loud in pleasure and response to his push. My tits were bouncing wildly with every thrust he made to bury his tool deep in me. I was bowled over by the resilience of this man. Then to support his balance he placed both his hands on my bouncing tits and pumped with all his might while crushing my tits with hands.

After about 10-12 mins of hard pumping I could feel his tool was bulging again in my tunnel to explode and to give out it’s fresh, warm juice in me. I too was on the verge of a great second orgasm. At the very last moment he took out his tool and sprayed his juice on my stomach and belly button. Then he entered his semi-limp tool again in me. By then my love tunnel was slippery like hell and he went in me almost without any effort. He didn’t have to work much hard any more as I busted in a great second orgasm of the day. (Indian Sex Blog, 2009)

 

[Via http://lesbianes.wordpress.com]

My sex adventure with two girls during Navratri, Gujarat

Number of abortions rise in Gujarat a couple of months after Navratri” A statement made by Gujarat state’s women & child welfare Minister comes in India’s leading newspapers during Navratri festival. The entire Gujarat was agog with celebrations all over. Why Gujarat, every part of India celebrated Navratri festival in their own way. Goddess Durga Pooja in West Bengal is their national festival. In Tamilnadu they display Kolu in each home. In Andhra, Karnataka and in Kerala, all nine days and nights are full of cultural celebrations. But in Gujarat it is something special. All the girls come out in the streets to sing and dance. Dance items like Garba, Ras are famous. Girls especially young age girls and women in their twenties and thirties move around to various dance sites and participate. This goes on for the whole night for 9 nights during Navratri.

Nobody can keep a watch on any girl to know where she is going and what she is doing. Immediately after Navratri, hundreds of young age abortions are done privately in hospitals. Some husbands and parents even engage private detectives to know whether these girls/women go astray in the name of garba dance. Most of them do go astray, but they enjoy life. They may have sex with boy friends, with bosses, colleagues, servants, or even strangers. Most of them do have sex. Girls & housewives even boast about the number of people they had sex with during the navratri.

Once I happened to be in Mumbai on my way to Delhi and for overnight stay I went to a hotel which was in a Gujarati locality. I just forgot that it was Navratri season and a great surprise was in store for me. I had to catch the early morning flight and hence I went to bed very early so that I may a few winks of sleep. Suddenly at 10 pm I had loud sounds of drum beatings and I sprang in may bed wondering what happened. I came out and saw the preparations for the dance. They were forming groups and singers were getting ready and drummer was just beating the drum to attract attention and to call people to come. Then the song started and the dance also started. It was a wonderful spectacle. I thought let me just watch it because this kind of visuals are rarely available.

Very beautiful young girls, with cheerful faces were dancing with sticks in their hands in a rhythm. I just stood at the gate and watched. I waved at some of the very nice girls and threw flying kisses at them. Two or three girls were thrilled and responded enthusiastically. It was a slow number and it took more than an hour to complete. When it was over new groups were being formed.

Suddenly one of the girls who responded to my flying kiss came running and asked me in Gujarati something which I could not understand. I asked her in Hindi what she wants. She asked whether I stay in this hotel, I said yes, can I come to your room for some water, she asked, certainly, I said and I moved towards my room in the first floor. I was moving fast and the girl was practically running after me. When I reached my room, I opened the door and took the water jug and offered her a filled glass. But she was not there to accept my glass. She was lying in my bed and said she was tired and just wanted to lie down for some time. Me bahoot thuggayi hoom, thoda let javoon.

I sat near her. I noticed she was a buxom girl in her early twenties, big boobs, flat navel, nice make up, Her blouse which was specially made for the dance with lot of shining materials was pinching her and she just unhooked her blouse and her boobs which were in the bra were projecting up. I asked her whether I may help her to unhook the bra. She just looked at me and smiled and said ok and turned to her side opposite to me. I lifted blouse bottom, found her bra hooks and unhooked them. She came back to lie on her back and was looking at me with expectations. My a/c was in full blast and the room was very cool. I ran my hand over her boobs in circulatory motion. She semi closed her eyes and enjoyed my touch. Her nipples were erect. What more invitation I wanted. She was lying diagonally on my bed. It was convenient for me.

I came in front of her and just leaned forward and held both of her boobs in my hand and sucked her nipples. She was moaning loudly and extended her hand searching for my cock. She caught my pyjama strings untied the knot, pulled down my brief and caught my erect cock in her hand. I was surprised. I just lifted her ornamental skirt, and a petticoat below and her beautiful thighs were visible. I lifted her dress further up and her panty was already wet. Without waiting for her permission, I pulled down her panty and saw her clean shaven pussy, a golden colored pussy. I lifted her knees and kept it wide in preparation of my next move. Juldi karo, log dundthe honge, she said. Do it fast, they may be searching for me. I just took my cock at the entrance of her cunt and pushed forward. She was tight. Her tightness was very enjoyable.

She also started to moan loudly. I gave her in long slow strokes, rubbing her clit with one hand. She was quivering with pleasure and moaning as I plunged into her. It took more than ten minutes for me to come to an orgasm. By that time she came to orgasm twice. She trembled each time she met orgasmic stroke. Finally I sprayed my semen inside her. When I pulled out she got up hurriedly and asked for the bathroom went inside, cleaned herself up, steadied her dress and rushed out and thanked me and gave me a kiss on my mouth and rushed out running. I was watching she was moving under shadow and got mixed up with the crowd in no time. I did not even ask her name.

I waited for another hour for the second number to conclude. For passing time I start surfing on my laptop. I searched google, yahoo with words ‘navratri abortions’, ’navratri condoms’ (some websites spell navratri as navaratri) and learn many new dimensions of Gujarati culture. Then after few minutes I saw another girl coming towards my room. I wondered how they make a beeline to my room. Perhaps she may be a friend of the girl who came earlier. I waited at my door. She too asked for some water. I said ok, come in. This girl of the same age group came rushing in and went straight to my bed and stretched herself diatonically. I gave her a glass of water which she drank fast. I placed my hand on her navel. She looked up at me and smiled. I told her whether your friend told you to come her for water. She smiled and said yes. Ok, then turn so that I may unhook your bra.

With protest she turned and I unhooked her bra and turned her up and lifted her bra and blouse ends and revealed her boobs. Her nipples were already erect and was waiting for me to massage them. I just leaned forward and took the nipple in my mouth and sucked them. I lifted her skirt etc and pulled down her wet panty. This girl was very hot and was very cooperative in fucking. She guided my cock into her hole and suggested that I lie down and she would ride me. I said ok, for a change it is ok. The girl, whose name was Rati, got on me and took my cock inside her cunt in one jerk and started to fuck me. She was an expert and did it perfectly positioning her crotch appropriately to make my cock rub her clit. I was squeezing her nipples and boobs. She was contorting her face and giving out wild sounds and finally when she came to orgasm, she banged her crotch on me. Very hot girl indeed. When one fuck was over, I asked her for the second fuck. She said not now, people are waiting for me. I will come later.

She just jumped down, rushed to the bathroom and cleaned herself and came back gave me a kiss and rushed back to join the crowd. Time was already 1 am and I cannot have any more females for the day, because I had to catch the early morning flight. I was wondering the luck I had with these two girls. I switched off my lights and went to the bed with planning to spend all future years Navratri in the same hotel. (Indian Sex 4 U, 2009)

[Via http://lesbianes.wordpress.com]

Make sure you rent or buy American Virgin!! Cause my Cousin is in it!!!!

So I don’t actually know any REAL famous people. I met Tony Hawk once in like 98 or 99 but he wasn’t cool yet. I also saw Luke Wilson once in a bar in Austin that’s about it. But my cousin (Chase Ryan Jeffery) is apparently going to be famous sooner or later. I think thats sweet because I want to eventually end up on an episode of TMZ because we leave some L.A. area bar and I punch some paparazzi in the face! How awesome would that be!!! Here is Chase’s most recent project American Virgin!

Chase plays Chuck!

He is the person on the far right in the coat! I am stoked cause as soon as he has a giant mansion in the hollywood hills I can sleep on his couch and hit up the local skate parks!

[Via http://themostmediocre.wordpress.com]

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Review Breast Enhancement Pills :: Small Breast Solutions

Company’s Product Overview:

Small Breast Solutions is a completely natural supplement formulated to increase size, and improve the shape and firmness of women’s breasts naturally. This unique formulation is specifically designed using the four essential ingredients which quickly stimulates  natural development of the female breast.

Features:
Small Breast Solutions offers the safest, non-surgical alternative to gaining larger, fuller, firmer breasts naturally with the aid of the perfect proprietary blend of ingredients. Scientists have proven that by stimulating the estrogen receptor sites using herbal ingredients (phytoestrogens), specifically those found in Small Breast Solutions, can significantly increase the size of the female and breasts.

Benefits:

• Results in as little as 2 weeks
• Gain Full Cup Sizes in as little as 30 Days
• Enlarges Breasts Naturally
• Improves Shape and Tone
• Increases Self-Esteem
• No Side Effects
• Completely Safe and Natural
• No Pain
• No Down-Time
• No Weight Gain
• Very Affordable 
• Shipping & Billing Worldwide (completely discreet)
• Recommended By Doctors and Herbalists Worldwide

Ingredients:

• Fenugreek Seed Extract
• Fennel Seed
• Wild Yam
• Saw Palmetto

  Review:

  According to my clients that have used Small Breast Solutions, the products begin working very quickly compared to other breast enhancement products they may have used. Typically visbile results are seen in as little as 2 weeks with full results achieved between 4-6 months. More and more women are beginning to realize that there are natural alternatives to breast enlargement surgeries with results that are even better than implants. Cost is another plus for those interested in increasing their breast size.  Although women choose this natural alternative for many reasons, the main one is due to the fact that there are no scars, doctor visits, or risks involved. Breast augmentation surgery is becoming a thing of the past. I have found that Small Breast Solutions can indeed give you better, safer, more natural results, for a fraction of the cost. 

  I recommend purchasing a Six Month Complete System. This is the best price I’ve seen for what you get. You actually save $279.75 by buying the entire six month system up front rather than going month to month at $79.95 (total if you buy month to month $479.70).

  Testimonials:

Dear Kathleen,

Thank you for recommending Small Breast Solutions. Although I completely trust you, I wasn’t sure if it would work for me, but trying a breast enhancement pill instead of going under the knife was the best thing I could have done for myself.  I’m now a believer in natural breast enhancement products. I honestly couldn’t be any happier having grown from a meager A cup to a large C in six months. It was well worth the wait. I really appreciate all of your support and encouragement .” Sincerely, Chloe, Ohio

Dear Ms. Milicci:

“I am so greatful for your advice to try Small Breast Solutions before even thinking of breast augmentation surgery. You were right, it worked wonders for me. I’m so glad I listened to you. I love the fact that not only did I save myself the pain and misery of surgery, but I saved thousands of dollars. This means a lot to me. I’m now buying my first house using the money I saved. I would recommend this to anyone considering getting implants. Breast enhancement pills are the only way to go.” Elena, UK

Kathleen,

“I took your advice and tried SBS’s natural breast enhancement products. To my amazement I have grown my own natural breasts. I feel so blessed. Surprizingly I noticed growth after only 16 days. I just finished my program last Saturday measuring in at a whopping 34-D. My starting size was a very small 32-B and it only took 6 months to achieve this. All in all this has been a lovely eye-opening experience for me. Breast enhancement pills do work.” Tabitha, UK

Small Breast Solutions offers a very generous 90 day guarantee. This is plenty of time to know whether the products will work for you or not.

From 1-10 I would rate these products a 10.

One-Month Supply of Small Breast Solutions Complete System – $79.95
Three-Month Supply of Small Breast Solutions Complete System – $159.90
Six-Month Supply of Small Breast Solutions Complete System – $199.95
Web Site: Click here for more information

Small Breast Solutions Before and After Photos:

aki sora promo [ecchi] with download link

Looks obviously more juicy than Kanokon and below is its synopsis of the manga taken from Baka-Updates Manga :

Aki-Sora revolves around Aki Aoi and Sora Aoi, a pair of close siblings who have shared an intimate bond since childhood. During their coming of age, they each come to realize the true depth of the love they feel for each other and consummate that love in secret. They keep their younger sister, Nami, Sora’s twin in the dark about their new relationship. Nami, clueless of what is happening in her household aims to set her brother up with her best friend, Kana Sumiya. Despite these relationships Nami seems to have feelings for someone near to her too but keeps them secret.

Airing next month, this is one good christmas present for all the perverts out there

The promo download link HERE

Other screenshots

Commercials and CHidults

Unemployed Dad makes $63/hr!

Pittsburgh mom makes $63/hr!

Mom learns secret to whitening teeth from home!

Ok, my question is… Who is stupid enough to fall for these??? ^^^  They’re just links to another blog now but on other pages they’re links to the SAME SALES SITES…

This brings me to my first point.  Who, in their right mind, would buy something from a commercial on the radio now a days?

I specifically avoid the following:

• Radio Commercials for specific products
• TV Commercials for specific products
• Radio Commercials for services
• Internet Ads for just about everything

Now, what I mean by ‘avoid’ is simple.  I would NEVER purchase something from a commercial I heard about on the radio UNLESS that is a restaurant or something such as a game/movie/show coming out.  I would also never call a service from radio either(mortgage lender/debt reduction/etc). Same goes for TV commercials they have just never proven to be trustworthy and after reading web sites like this (http://www.ripoffreport.com/) it seems like every single commercial you see anywhere is linked to some lame scheme to steal your money in one way or the other.  For the record, I know http://www.ripoffreport.com/ is a bad example but the website I used to love (infomercialscams.com) is gone for now. 

And I would NEVER or from/use a web page that is in the ads section of a search engine like google.  Let alone, use a service that is advertised on some page or is blinking and says I’m the 10,000th visitor….

What to do to solve this problem?  Figure out a new venue… The current advertising venue is old and lame and has been taken over by scammers and companies that aren’t trustworthy.  Mind you, there ARE some good companies that advertise obviously but they’re many many more scammer ads.

They all try to work you in to some damn subscription type process…

MY NEXT POINT…

Chidults (Child-like adults)…  This complaint stems from some friends we have… I’ll start by explaining what I mean.

I mean the people that are, I’d say 16> is a good age range and act like they have the mentality of four year olds.  Heck my sister (now 6) when she was four was more mature than the 2 friends I’m talking about.

Now let me tell you the stories so you can understand what I’m referring to…

Story 1

When my wife and I were getting married is the first time I started noticing it.  Noticing these 2 seemed to have to copy everything we did.  First, they complained about how “we had to have our wedding before them but they’re older” WHAT? We decided to get married and set our date based on the best time for us and the people we hired for it.  Not to top them as we didn’t really even know before that that they were getting married.  That is because of another smaller story.  They decided to get married after they both talked about not being sure about it.  One, in particular, the female said she’d call it off if another guy at work asked her out A MONTH BEFORE THE WEDDING.  He didn’t, I guess luckily, but after they got married he did mention to someone that he thought she was cute but wouldn’t want to mess up her new marriage.  Anyway, their wedding happened a few months after ours and it was oddly the same… They had it in the same place (ok because it is a nice place), they played the same type of a recessional music (ours was very unique and there’s was STRANGELY only about one off of ours…

That ones not HORRIBLE but there is more to come…

Story 2

This one is out of chronological order from the last but it has to do with housing.  I got a new job and we started looking for an apartment.  My wife had been told by the one(we’ll call her Barb) that she didn’t want to move out yet and wasn’t ready and preferred to live at home for a while more.  Barb then came over that weekend and went and not 3 days later they were LOOKING AT HOUSES.  Oh, that’s one thing I forgot to mention about these morons, they have to attempt to top everything we do… ATTEMPT… I really could care less what they do as we are happy..  They hurried up and bought some old house anyway.

Story 3

The last and final story, there ARE a lot more but not for today… RECENTLY we mentioned someday we were going to get a wiener dog… At the time we were told by them both they hated wiener dogs because they were ’stupid’ or ‘peed to much’.  2 days ago one texted everyone on her contacts list telling them they were going to get a wiener dog in a couple days from a lady!  Wow… what a surprise..

In closing, I’d just like to say, if you do read this (those who it’s about) and you know it’s about you then GOOD.  I hope you now know just how stupid you look.  It’s horribly transparent and just shows how immature you actually are.  Haha..

As I stated before, if I really cared I could do any of the stuff they have.  If I was really worried about them showing us up or having any of the stuff we want immediately we would have bought a house and we would have a wiener dog now.  But it’s not as important as being comfortable and being able to have freedoms hence the reason we don’t have any of that stuff yet.  As a final statement I’d like to challenge those 2 to have a kid.  Have fun (they haven’t used protection since they met)…

TUESDAY

Kara says:

So I got into a car accident today. Beat that on your excitement meter.

Amanda says:

I got 70% off of my perfume.
A fucking car accident?

Kara says:

hahaha

Amanda says:

Share bear’s car?

Kara says:

no, Joey was driving thank god, his car took it from behind on the on ramp.

So I got him to pull over, and the lady that rear ended us pulled in too
I jumped out

Amanda says:

So you got rear ended?
Where?

Kara says:

she gets out…and asks if there is any damage, I said nope… and she said oh I`m so sorry, and I told her calmly “fucking pay attention“ then I walked back to the car and continued on our journey to the gym.
On the on-ramp to get to the Southside

Amanda says:

You told off a senior citizen
how does that make you feel?

Kara says:

She wasn`t a senior citizen.
She was maybe 50.

Amanda says:

Well you escaped, this is all that matters.
And you had time for cardio

Kara says:

And it made me feel great, for everyone’s safety if you can`t pay attention, then you shouldn`t be driving

Amanda says:

Sounds like a good day.
Umm need I remind you of our drives?

Kara says:

Yes…mega attention
not a bad thing

Amanda says:

ha.

Kara says:

I never smashed into anyone
hahaha

Amanda says:

I’m trying to think of interesting things. Okay, I do have: “illogical things that piss me off #173948723″
Here’s the deal

Kara says:

mmhhmm

Amanda says:

Putting your jacket up over your nose and mouth will not actually protect you from invisible swine on the bus. Why? Because–it’s a fucking jacket and not a surgical mask and your grubby hand you used to put it over your face with was just on the rail, idiot
I’m so sick of swine. Not with. Of.
ok.

Kara says:

I think it’s all overrated… survival of the fittest.
hahaha

Amanda says:

And a BMO bank teller gave me the eyes today when I ordered rent cheques and I noticed she removed all of her piercings and I wondered if this is bank policy

Kara says:

I`m sure it is. Policy of any kind makes me nervous… if you are a flight attendant… no you may not have a messy bun in your hair.

Amanda says:

seriously, for turbulence?

Kara says:

I don`t get it…piercings and messy buns aren`t going to hurt anyone

Amanda says:

gravity likes shapely buns

Kara says:

no… because it looks unprofessional?… it has to be smooth and pretty

Amanda says:

I was kidding.

Kara says:

manicured.
hahaha

Amanda says:

sick.

Kara says:

it is sick

Amanda says:

Since when does metal affect your ability to speak or smile or wait on people

Kara says:

I`d be fucked… I have a mess of hair and I can`t use a curling iron
Well… I have a story about that.
I got my tongue pierced the day before I had to preach.
I sounded funny.

Amanda says:

I love that you were a preacher.
you sounded like you liked pussy

Kara says:
 hahaha

Amanda says:
What was the best part of spreading God’s word?

Kara says:

The hypocrisy.
that was the best part. The best part of preaching was being up higher than everyone else and telling them they are bad people.

Amanda says:

hahaha

Kara says:

meanwhile… back at bible college… I was a hot mess.
hahaha

Amanda says:

Prop 8 is going to the high court
I believe in January
woot.
Speaking of hot messes….you loving the dating website?

Kara says:

Good. America is still America though, they will always struggle with progressive issues. I`m still not convinced on POF.
hahaha
I might meet a few on the trip to Moncton.
We`ll see.
But… Moncton… that makes me nervous on its own

Amanda says:

One more question
the word ‘titties’ turn off, no?

Kara says:

titties…. hmmm depending on who its coming from.
slightly high pitched `TITTIES` like kitties…. is fine.

Amanda says:

even if someone is smoking hot…I think titties sounds like bad porn

Kara says:

but look at her titties… could be trashy.

Amanda says:

I think it’s worse when it’s nonchalant.

Kara says:

Agreed.
What’s a better word.. how do we phase out titties.

Amanda says:

tits

Kara says:

is that better though?

Amanda says:

remove the tie
jugs
headlights
birthday cakes

Kara says:
 Dirty pillows… I saw that on Carrie

Amanda says:

breasts are too maternal
sick

Kara says:

boobs

Amanda says:

bits

Kara says:

boobs cracks me up.
boobies…

Amanda says:

kibbles and bits

Kara says:

hahaha
melons.

Amanda says:

alright I’m out of here. Keep your tits, er, head up. See you tomorrow

Miley Cyrus's Young Body On Display

Isn’t 16 year old Miley Cyrus just adorable?  I’m sure every parent wants their teenage girl to look like this when they get paraded around in front of a hundred grown men with cameras.  Oh just in case you don’t recognize him, the creepy old guy posing with her, that’s not her sugar daddy, that’s her actual daddy, as in father, as in man that shouldn’t let his 16 year old daughter go out of the house dressed like that.

     
now here’s her camel toe and more ass
 

Big Breasted Beauties

CLICK THE PICTURE NOW!!!!!

OK We have done it again!!  We are on a mission to bust your Monday Blues.  We are fighting the terrible feeling with presenting you with Busty Beauties and Barely Legal Babes!!!

All in one place!!! as the Adult Arcade keeps bringing to y0u !!! 

But you must HURRY this offer ends today!!

Bust your Monday Blues with Busty Beauties and Barely Legal Babes!!!

Experienced cougar gives advice for shy guys

Tips to Help You Meet the Girl of Your Dreams

We women often think all men are confident, sure of themselves and have no problems getting women. Some men are like that, but many aren’t. I’ve met a lot of shy men throughout my life and almost all of them have had no idea how to meet women, or what to say if they do meet a woman they like. So, from a woman, here are my Top 5 Tips to help shy guys meet women.

1. Don’t try to meet women in bars. The most important tip I think there is. Just like women don’t usually want to meet a potential boyfriend in a bar, I wouldn’t recommend trying to meet a potential girlfriend in one. Bars are loud, smoky and usually full of people who are quite drunk. You’re not only usually going to find more of a Party Girl in a bar, but you’re also likely to be disappointed when you meet her in the daylight. In the bar, in her drunken stupor, you may have looked like somebody she wanted to get to know better. In daylight, things and people can look very different. There’s no point setting yourself up for disappointment before you even start so – avoid the bars!

2. Join a few clubs. At first, don’t even worry about trying to find a girlfriend. Just sign up for a few clubs or classes that YOU might find interesting. Walking clubs, movie nights, political organizations, dog walking groups, sports clubs, French classes, cooking classes, computer classes – they’re all places where, most importantly, you’ll probably make some new friends. They’re also places where you might meet an interesting woman and surprise surprise, when you do, she’ll probably have something in common with you.

3.When you do meet a woman you like, don’t think about her as a possible girlfriend. The secret to a great relationship is to be the best of friends. If you meet a woman you think you might like, get to know her first. Put it out of your head that she might be a potential girlfriend or wife. Instead, learn more about her, enjoy her company and have fun.

When you do this, the woman is less uncomfortable or threatened and she’ll let her guard down, and you won’t be worrying about trying to impress. That way, you’ll both be having a great time before you know it and who knows what might happen?

4. Be liked for yourself. Don’t try to be somebody you’re not. Don’t pretend you’re a bad boy, a jerk, a ladies man etc. if you’re not. Women almost always hate that but, even if she likes it, who wants someone to fall in love with somebody they’re not anyway? You can’t keep it up for the rest of your life, so why even start? Be yourself. Relax. Talk about the things you’re interested in, ask her questions about herself, find something you both have in common and discuss it. Then, even if she’s not ‘The One’, you still might have found someone you can talk to and she could turn out to be a great friend. 5. Just do it! When you meet a woman and you feel that overpowering fear coming on and you just know you’re not going to have the courage to talk to her. Just do it. Forget the fear, take a deep breath, walk right over and say “Hi”. Women usually like the confident, strong, outgoing guys. But here’s a secret – MOST GUYS ARE FAKING IT. So, you fake it too. Take a deep breath, relax your body, chin up, shoulders back and walk over there like you own the room. By the time you get there, she’ll think you do, and she’ll already be interested. This is what guys who are successful with women do. They all started by faking it and eventually they weren’t even faking it anymore. With these 5 quick tips, you too can meet some great women and can pluck up the courage to talk to any woman. There are women everywhere. Make it a point every day to talk to at least three women you don’t know, even if it’s just the woman behind the drycleaner’s counter. Before you know it, you’ll be just as relaxed as the next guy and having fun while you’re at it. Good luck!

Little change in the schedule guys...

Ok there are gonna be a few minor changes at The corner. You might not even notice them. I just got a job working from 6am til 2:30… What that means for you is: The posting schedule might change a bit. Maybe instead of first thing in the morning, the posts might go up mid day. A lot of times though, I post at 1 or 2 am… So it could stay the same. Nothing is going to change besides that. Well one thing is going to change. I’m going to be doing way more with hot chicks for you guys, cuz I mean, fuck… Who doesn’t like hot half-naked chicks!?

(Thats why I used this picture… Just so you’d actually read this)

Thanks for the support everyone!

-Tosh

Movie Moment: Hollywood news I'd rather not use feat. NSFW Angelina Jolie

Ugh. So it appears that Angelina Jolie finally got the people at Lionsgate to pony up the cash to make Atlas Shrugged in to a movie. Angelina Jolie, a question: why do you do these things that make me dislike you? I want to be on your side.

I had almost totally managed to recover from my dislike of her, especially being out of the orbit of my husband who insists she’s a witch (he is more supersitious than me, even), but when she does shit like bring Ayn Rand to the big screen when I’m already being buffeted by her nonsense on all sides as people repeatedly apply her views ludicrously to a “fresh take” on the current economy, I feel like my hands are tied. I’m back to disliking Angelina Jolie. It’s official.

“If being sane is thinking there’s something wrong with being different, I’d rather be completely fucking mental.” — Angelina Jolie.

See, that is a fabulous quote; we should get along wonderfully, but, no, she has to go and be all jerky and Ayn Randy. Gar. I say fuck the world and its rules, too, but I don’t believe that makes me better or more entitled than anyone else. I hate that Atlas Shrugged is going to be a movie, or even a mini-series. HATE IT. Ugh. This day blows now.

“Think about it: the world’s great minds and great contributors to society—which really are the entrepreneurs—are being taken advantage of—and they are; if you make money, you’re giving up pretty close to half of your income, though the United States is still the greatest country in the world, and Ayn Rand would have said that as well.” — Lionsgate Vice Chairman Burns, blurting out what Ayn Rand followers really believe, then swiftly backpedaling so that the studio appears to remain general-populace-friendly (source).

And you have cast Charlize Theron as Dagny Taggart? What goes through your pretty, long-ago-drug-and-Billy-Bob-Thornton’s-blood addled head? Angelina Jolie, try to understand this. I still love you. I just don’t love your choices.

I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.

A brief pop culture interlude

Because I don’t actually obsess about myself 24-7-365. Honest!

I’m fascinated with Amy Winehouse. I love her music, I dig her style, I can respect her sex-&-drugs-&-rock n’ roll rebellion (to a degree.) I’m delighted that she appears to be trying to come back, hearty and hale and ready to do … well, that remains to be seen.

And WHOA! Honey, I see ‘em, I see ‘em. You can put them back now. Or wrestle them down away from your chin. Wowza.

Now, far be it from me to condemn Amy for re-upping her puppies. Even though she’s still a little lot scrawny for them, hence, they look like two basketballs strapped onto a Tootsie Roll pop. However, it’s her make-up that’s causing me concern:

She’s starting to remind me of the “Pied Piper of Tucson,” Charles Schmid, who murdered three teenyboppers for kicks in the mid-1960s. He was prone to enhancing his height by stuffing cans, rags, and newspapers in his boots. He also knew his way around a make-up counter. I guess?

and After

Before

Smitty and Ben Nye need a pow-wow. Wow. That’s putty to change the shape of his nose, an ever-expanding beauty spot(!), eyeliner, white lipstick(!!) and possibly kohl’d eyebrows.

I’m just saying, Amy’s freckles look a little funky.

Indifference.........Bitches hate it!

This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers!

A few posts back I talked about how I was called a woman hater because I did not want to risk getting fucked again by remarrying.  A reader, Curiepoint, left these very truthful comments:

 

“The shaming language is a call to get you to embrace “normalcy”. That is to say, that the normal and predictable thing for a man to do is to assume the yoke of an oppressive marriage, ungrateful children, and mounting debt. To refuse all this is to buck the system, and we can’t have any of that. I have ask rhetorically though, what is the difference between love and hate? Both have caused pain, death, and misery in roughly equal proportions. Both carry a heavier price than is ever worth paying, and neither deliver on any of the promises that they make. Why bother with either one? The thing for these accusatory voices to realize, is that we do not hate women. That would assume that they can trigger an emotional response in us. The real issue is our indifference to them, which is diametrically opposed to both love and hate.

The shaming language is a call to get you to embrace “normalcy”.  That is to say, that the normal and predictable thing for a man to do is to assume the yoke of an oppressive marriage, ungrateful children, andmounting debt. To refuse all this is to buck the system, and we can’t have any of that.I have ask rhetorically though, what is the difference between love and hate? Both have caused pain,death, and misery in roughly equal proportions.  Both carry a heavier price than is ever worth paying, andneither deliver on any of the promises that they make. Why bother with either one?  The thing for these accusatory voices to realize, is that we do not hate women. That would assume thatthey can trigger an emotional response in us. The real issue is our indifference to them, which isdiametrically opposed to both love and hate.”

It was his last sentence that stuck with me.  I have referred to a certain rebound piece of ass before in this blog and after the sex ended with this bitch, her complaint, the thing that drove her completely fucking wild was my indifference toward her.  She tried all her usual drama queen tactics on me, but to no effect.  This drove her insane, she even told me so!  She said that at least if I hate her that she can understand that.

Typical American bitch, everything revolves around her, the fact that I wasn’t feeding this cunt’s drama machine totally pissed her off even more.

I think it was more than indifference.  This chick was last single in her 20’s, now she’s pushing 40 so her stock has crashed long ago and I think that she just can’t deal with that.  I think that these entitlement whores cannot imagine the day when stomping their little feet no longer works and guys just don’t give a fuck because there’s something younger, hotter and with a better attitude right around the corner.

 

Silly cum bucket, tricks are for kids.  I am indifferent because I have choices……and you don’t.  Enjoy the rest of your miserable life you overweight loud-mouthed bitch!

You are now free to drink malt liquor about the cabin.

Sexy Teen School Girl Outfits on Halloween

Children bring something special to a home: laughter, love … noise … a variety of odors … now to my point …

At a friends house today their teen daughter came in with her friends.

First they did NOT build them like that when I was in school.  Second; parents should not allow their little darlings to go out in public with their tits pushed up and ass hanging out.

OH … you can bet if any of those girls parents caught a middle aged man looking at their little darling they’d be all over him, calling him a pervert and threatening to have him arrested.

I submit that it’s not the guys fault.  Let’s be realistic here, you put barbequed steak on the table and the dog in the house is going to sniff.

Now here’s what I would love to see happen.  This would surely put a stop to this nonsense?

Get yourself a burly looking older guy.  Give him a pair of girls undergarments.  Have him go knock on the future pregnant teens parents door.  When they answer the door hand them the under-things and say: Here, she left these in my back seat and tell her I haven’t forgot she owes me 5 change out of that 20.  Then just walk away as quickly as humanly possible.

Not saying it’s nice, not saying it’s what Oprah would do, just saying it would be effective.

Fun Challenge Of The Day:
(be sure to post comment about your experience) Next time you see an under aged slut whoring it up with her parents, walk right up and proudly ask how much.

Updates and Comments...

Recently there was a discussion on why British Beauties should post Asian women. To keep this short, we will never post or feature any other race of women, other than White women. In addition don’t bother saying I am raciest or any other junk like that. This sites whole core is based on White/European women!

I would like to reply to a comment saying our site is evil, lewd, and distasteful. I am sorry that you feel that way. British Beauties is a European modeling website. We will sometimes show slightly “sexy” and “nude” photographs of models. Our site will always be mostly made up of articles, reviews, and points of view. Please feel free to visit the about page where you will find more information!

Finally, we will post three days out of every week. For example [Monday, Wednesday, Friday]. I am super busy with other stuff so I can’t always post or read comments/emails, but I will find the time! I want to thank you all for your support, please comment more too!

 

Friday: We start your weekend with Rosie Jones!

Monday: Where is Ms. Ewa Sonnet?

Wednesday: Top European Models

Did I Mention That Shopping is for the Criminally Insane?

by sylvia

oh yeah, I did - right here. But alas, I need to remember – just because it fits, doesn’t mean I need to wear it.

So me and the Bianca went shopping yesterday.  Yes.  We had every intention of buying something, because duh, why else would you go shopping?  But specifically, we were shopping for dresses to wear to our company’s upcoming Holiday party.

Now, I’ve been going to this party for the last 10 years, and it is always a great time (I mean, how can you go wrong with an open bar and great food, and a live band), but had the most fun last year going with Bianca.  We shopped,we got our hair did, we gor our drink on, we had a great time.

So we had to find us some gorgy dresses for this year.  Because last year, umm – we were the belles of the damn ball (but not like Bella).  Not that it was that hard, but DAMN – we looked GOOD!

So of course we need to top last year.And today was our first shopping day.And it was a total bust.We went to 7 different stores (7!) and tried on 23 dresses, all of which were at the first store.  And seriously – we bought NOTHING(well, I bought some BumpIts and Bianca bought some earrings, but still….).  Some were ok, some were bad, and some were just downright WRONG.  I made Bianca try those on.  Since when is this a flattering shape on anyone?

And in actuality, the dress I made Bianca try on was way, WAY less flattering than this one.  Plus, one on the “straps” was broken, so it was essentially strapless, and the boob section was made for someone with perhaps a -AA chest (even though it was a 22W).

So maybe we hit the stores too soon.  But it is always challenging for me to find a dress because most cocktail/evening dresses are sleeveless, and although I am on the positive pathway to accepting and loving my belly, my upper arms and I are not even close to discussing the possibility of perhaps maybe in the future thinking about discussing talking about the chance that we might do some contract negotiations. 

Clearly, I need to work on that.

Last year, I bought this beautiful dress from IGIGI (blindly) and I fortunate enough for it to actually fit and look great (I had never purchased anything from them before).  What I loved about this dress was the sleeves (duh), the color (I always end up wearing black to these parties), and the cleavage exposure:

So the hardest thing I had in front of me was to find some shoes and jewelry, and to help Bianca shop for her dress.  Fortunately, we accomplished all of that in one day.  Bianca got quite lucky finding a beautiful dress and awesome shoes all within her budget (you can kinda see her shoes here).

The day of the party, we got our hair did, and we met our husbands at the hotel, got our drink on, got ready, and applied the over-the-limit yet  requisite amount of edible body glitter powder and then basically fielded compliments from people all over the party.  It was so awesome, because we are probably two of the fattest people in our company, but we were getting tons of positive attention that night because we were so fabulous!

So that’s why we need to top last year’s party.  I’m not saying that we should go above and beyond what we did last year, but I spent so many years trying to just get by at these parties and not get noticed for what I was wearing, that it was kind of a drug last year to be in the spotlight, so to speak.  Sort of how it felt like when we went to the Poison concert earlier this year.

I found this dress at Kiyonna and I am in love with it.  I’ve never ordered anything from them before, but I think I’m going to take my chances and order it and hope it all works out:

Oh yeah, I totally look exactly like this

 

Getting in the mood for romance...

When you do certain things do they trigger romantic thoughts for you? I can be flipping through the pages of a magazine and smell a men’s cologne sample and I’m suddenly hot for love. I’ll give my pussy an extra close shave and spend a little more time doing my hair and picking out my outfit before a date just based on that scent. What gets you in the mood for romance? What makes you want to “slip into something more comfortable?” Feel free to comment here or e-mail me privately at katemercer@live.com.

NSFW November: Roberta Vasquez, Miss November 1984

This randomly terrible photo of the lovely and talented Roberta Vasquez, Playboy’s Miss November 1984, makes “1984″ scary in new and grotesque ways.

To answer the question we’re all asking: 40D. (the wiki.)

She was a cop in real life and also played one in Clint Eastwood’s The Rookie. I think that centerfold picture is terrifyingly ugly, I’m not sure why it got the nod, unless the editor was one of those guys who fantasizes about women hurting him — not emotionally, I mean, like crushing him to death during sex or something — but she looks better in some of these other shots.

I think this is the nicest one of the lot, but I guess it’s a little too late to vote, huh?

Almost all the pictures from that shoot don’t really look like her, she looks kind of crabby and a little scary. Maybe the photographer was a jerk for the interior stuff. But whoever did the outside work brought out her smile. See how much nicer?

As a final thought, Roberta Vasquez cares deeply about your health. Please watch her workout video and enjoy some retro aerobics. I admit to not watching the whole thing, but I’m sure it’s chock full of good solid nutritional advice and up-and-up shit like that.

So sweet of her to take the time, right?? I tell you. Beneath those mammoth mammaries beats a heart of gold. This girl is a giver, you guys. God bless her.

2 Weeks and Counting

I have been waking up so early lately and it really sucks.

Yesterday was insanely busy again at work. I know that I say that every single day.

I left at lunch time to go to the hospital for my presurgery bloodwork. OMG. My surgery is in 2 weeks! I can’t believe it.

After the hospital, I went to the surgeon’s office to do a final consult. He just got this amazing 3D camera that takes my photo from all angles and then does a 3D simulation of how I will look. It is incredible.

We talked a lot about recovery and all of the preparations I should make. It kind of freaked me out. I told T that I was mortified of him seeing me like that- drugged up, unshowered, swollen, bloody, etc. He said that he wasn’t worried and that I would always be his cute girl. I told him that he had to close his eyes if he had to help me pee (or worse!) and he said OK. Times like this, I miss R who has seen me do everything!

I still don’t have my car. Tom has to get the inspection done, tags etc and his mechanics are backed up. I am dying to drive it! Hopefully by today or tomorrow.

I broke up with my therapist. That love affair didn’t last very long. I liked her a lot in the beginning because she combined therapy with spiritual work, but lately it’s become more spiritual work and very little therapy and I was getting frustrated. I think I’m going to take a little break from therapy and just do a lot of writing and thinking on my own.

Oop! E’s up!

Alicia Loren gotica, e con un po' più di carne

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Lucy Pinder, Bobbi Billard, & White Goddess

Bobbi Billard

Here is a video of the extremely hot and beautiful Bobbi Billard. I know, I know, she is an American model, but I really think she good looking. Bobbi has to be the best looking blonds since Pamela Anderson! Is she hotter than Pam? Let me know what you think it the comments below!

Pamela Anderson

Bobbi Billard

Lucy Pinder’s new Pictures

No words can descibe this picture!

Ok now here is a video of Lucy’s new Nut’s photo-shoot…

That was just a small look at her awesome new pictures. (Warning Nude Photos) to see them click here

White Goddess Website

Also a recommendation for a cool website, go to White Goddess to see some really beautiful women and read some awesome articles! You need to check this site out if you love white women!

Sneaker Ads You Can Spank It To

I’ve made it no secret that I’m not into Reeboks. If you ever see me wearing a pair it’s because they paid me multiple-thousands of dollars in some fashion. If you see me dating a girl with a nice butt, she won’t be wearing any of those corny new sneakers by ‘bok & others being marketed to women that have funky-shaped soles and promise to tone your thighs and butt as you walk in them:

If you have a nice butt it’s because of genetics (or a great plastic surgeon). If you have a fat butt it’s because you eat too much and don’t move around enough. However I totally believe, as long as the products are benign, that it is the consumer’s bad for falling for any gimmick such as this. Cheers for the seller, boos for the buyer. I guess if putting on a pair motivates you to get your ass to the gym, that’d be worth it, but any pair of normal running sneakers would do the trick. Do you know any women that wear these new butt & leg toner style sneaks? How do you like the ad?

Sneaker Ads you Can Spank It To

I’ve made it no secret that I’m not into Reeboks. If you ever see me wearing a pair it’s because they paid me multiple-thousands of dollars in some fashion. If you see me dating a girl with a nice butt, she won’t be wearing any of those corny new sneakers by bok & others being marketed to women that have funky-shaped soles and promise to tone your thighs and butt as you walk in them:

If you have a nice butt it’s because of genetics (or a great plastic surgeon). If you have a fat butt it’s because you eat too much and don’t move around enough. I totally believe, as long as the products are benign, that it is the consumer’s bad for falling for the gimmick. Cheers for the seller, boos for the buyer. I guess if putting on a pair motivates you to get your ass to the gym, that’d be worth it, but any pair of normal running sneakers would do the trick. Do you know any women that wear these new butt & leg toner style sneaks?

NSFW November: Donna Lynn, Playboy's Miss November 1959

Ladies and gentleman, your Playboy Miss November 1959 — the lovely and talented Donna Lynn. (applause.)

As far as I know the whole shoot was photographed by Frank Bez.

As you can see, Playboy was starting to get their shit together and have a strong budget by this point, enough not to cobble together hack photographers and shitty sets in eight different crummy apartments to put together a single spread. Consistency is important for the overall feel of a shoot. These look like they were all done around the same place, a nice spread of house with a good-sized backyard in some smoggy shithole suburb of L.A.

Art direction was actually beginning to play a part in the magazine’s design and composition. Sex sells. Slickly packaged sex sells better, and for more.

I find it just so unforgivably rude when people screw around on the phone when you are trying to have an in-person social conversation.

Miss Lynn was like bazillions of buxom blondes, a pretty girl who made her way from the midwest to Los Angeles with dreams of being a star. She must have had a smidge of tinfoil and gritty hustle behind that vacuous smile, because she came closer than most, landing not just a plush job and a centerfold spot, but a movie part from a big name, too. The Playboy sez:
Cocktail Waitress on the Sunset Strip
In Hollywood even the girls who wait tables are beautiful!
It is news to nobody that Hollywood is the cutie capital of the country, racking up more shapeliness per square inch — or maybe we mean round inch — than any other city in the nation, probably the world. To its sun-drenched purlieus swarm America’s loveliest lasses, all eager for film and TV stardom. Of course, stardom doesn’t usually come overnight and while they’re waiting the hopeful honeys take jobs as waitresses and car hops, cashiers and receptionists — which accounts for the high degree of pulchritude among Hollywood’s hired help. Even in such a splendorous setting, blonde Donna Lynn is a standout. As a waitress, she brightens The Cloister, a smart supper club on Hollywood’s famous Sunset Strip. There recently Mickey Rooney spotted her and signed her up for a part in his new motion picture The Private Lives of Adam and Eve. There recently we spotted her, too, and decided she was just what we’d been seeking for Miss November.

In the imdb’s cast list for the 1960 Rooney flop (guess it must have been one of the ones he drank his way through), she is credited as “Wednesday,” along with several other cast members named for days of the week. Her next part is listed, bizarrely, as “10 year old girl” a decade later on a 1971 episode of The Partridge Family, which I’m going to chalk up to a mistake.

Tan lines are like highlights for what you are not ordinarily allowed to see. Ladies, STOP laying in the booths naked. Way more hot to be stripey.

In fact, the credits her file at imdb lists from that point really take a nosedive in believable accuracy, so I’m assuming there was some kind of huge mistake in identity, because I seriously doubt that in 1981, having been born in 1936, she was in any shape to play “Kiki” in Hollywood High II (“It’s the end of the semester and finals are near, but that doesn’t stop the girls of Hollywood High from having fun. From the pool to the beach, they cavort with their boyfriends, drink, and smoke a joint or two!”). Her final alleged credit is 1988’s Hollywood’s New Blood, a horror film about which one imdb user commented, “A nursery school pageant is more professional.”

Malibu? Laguna?

Here she is, back in 1959 where we can be sure it was she, and reasonably clad to boot, washing a pretty freaking sweet indeedy Renault Dauphine; they did not always make teeny cars built to demolish one another jostling for parking on the streets of Paris. Even the French automaking industry was in the post-WWII car manufacturing heyday a decophilic slave to the beautiful trappings of finned and glorious car architecture.

Marvel of design. Car’s okay, too.

Hef & Co. were also very concerned with the physiology of sleep and how well you were resting, evinced by the cover theme. (That bunny looks twisted. Dude is toe up. I hate when people get animals drunk!)

IN THE NEWS

BOOOOMMM!

Kevin Dowling and Jamie Olmstead are the frontmen and producers of Footage Tape. If you wanna see Dave Ortega skating and about 30 minutes of kick ass blading  go to footagetape.com.

If you want to make stuff like this happen in your town the only things you need are: an Upthink Lab, some hot chick blading, and a  bunch of friends skating.

 

Supermarket Croissant.

Yes, you read correctly. Supermarket croissant.

I don’t know whether it means that I’m officially a real Parisian or officially a lazy degenerate, but I am here to confess that I just polished off a croissant from Monoprix. To give you a sense of what this means, Monoprix is sort of a cross between Target and Sainsbury’s or something. Neither of these are the perfect comparison, but you get the idea. Monoprix stores come in various sizes, and the one around the corner from us has a large supermarket and a bakery. So yeah, that’s where I got the croissant. And you know what? It wasn’t half-bad.

As I’d written in my previous bread post, given the abundance of perfectly passable bread options, “real Parisians” are said to go for convenience of bread location rather than indulge regularly in the quest for elusive bread perfection. So maybe by running across the street to get a croissant and be back before my tea cooled, e.g. by being too lazy to walk the 6.5 minutes to Rue Montorgueil, location of at least 2 of the best bakeries in Paris, I was actually acting truly Parisian. Or truly, truly lazy.

In an effort to slightly excuse myself, I will say this. We have some special guests visiting us from the U.S.A. And they decided that we should all take in a show at the famous Moulin Rouge last night. Suffice it to say, I pre-gamed at dinner. And as I sat through the show, there was no chance I was going to leave behind one tiny drop of my two-drink minimum. I asked my dear husband during the show which he found more offensive, the predictably obvious sexism or the somewhat unexpected Orientalism. FTW, he said he was most offended by the pretense that French people can dance. Truth is, the boobs were not really that offensive to me. And while in theory it would be less creepy if the guys took there clothes off too, I didn’t really want to see any of those guys take their clothes off. So I guess A is right that the most offensive part really is simply the tackiness.

Now, I suppose you can call me sheltered, because I’ve never been forced to go to Las Vegas or on a cruise ship, so I’ve never been subjected to a show like this. The closest thing I have to compare it to is Starlight Express, which we went to see when I was 10 with some cousins (I think Phantom of the Opera was probably sold out) and which was AWESOME. When I was ten.  So, yeah. Starlight Express, with a LOT of boobs and some harem-themed scenes.  Those whiskeys on the rocks had no chance. Neither did the remaining glass of A’s mom’s red wine. After a dinner at which I consumed more than the usual amount of wine, to begin with. And I don’t really have a very high tolerance. For alcohol or vegas-style burlesque shows, it turns out. So let’s just say the croissant thing this morning was kind of an emergency. Am I excused?

Wednesday 4th November 2009

 
 
 
 
 
WEDNESDAY 4th NOVEMBER

 
 
 
I must start off by thanking everyone who came to Pussycats last weekend for the Hallowe’en extravaganza. It was an absolute belter and a real pleasure to be part of it, especially Saturday night which was our busiest for several months. Both DJ Ivory (on the urban duties in room two) and I had a thoroughly enjoyable time banging out the tunes to a massive up-for-it crowd.
 
As usual at Hallowe’en, there were many people in fancy dress, myself included. I spent £15 at Tesco on a Count Dracula outfit which I had to wear on Friday AND Saturday just to get value for money! I’m not really keen on wearing fancy dress while DJ-ing if I’m completely honest but I suppose it was something different.
 
I can look stupid enough in my normal clothes without dressing as a vampire!
 
*****
 
I took loads of photos of the weekend – about 100 I think – and you can see them in the gallery at www.djwanker.com. There are some bang tidy women in there and some wonderful cleavage action going on. A picture of Lianne’s boobs is the most viewed since the weekend and you’ll be able to see for yourself why. Ding Dong!
 
http://www.wanker.pussycatsnightclub.co.uk/cpg1410/albums/0%2009%20Cats%2011/0910_00000_%2804%29.jpg  
 
For some reason, we seemed to have a lot of hot women from Shrewsbury in on Saturday. They had a good time and say they’re coming back. And, of course, they are most welcome.
 
*****
 
By the way, it’s free to get into Pussycats before 11.30 on a Friday with a special pass you can get from Whispers Bar, next door to the club.
 
*****
 
I didn’t have any acceptable footwear to go with the Dracula costume so, needing something cheap, I bought a pair of slippers from some high-class joint (*sarcasm) called Peacocks on the retail park by JJB gym.
 
I’m not comfortable buying slippers because they’re principally for little children and old people. It’s not a sign of a mid-life crisis either. Assuming I’m going to reach 80 (I’d take that now, to be honest) then, being 36, I’m not quite at the midway mark.
 
That said, a good friend of mine had a wobble a few years back and he was about 35. He divorced his wife, got engaged to a woman 15 years younger, had extra tattoos, bought a motorbike and took up a new sport. The motorbike has now gone and so too has the younger partner. She was a cow anyway and he’s best shot of her.
 
*****
 
Changes are on the way for me in Telford. I’m leaving ‘the crib’ at the end of this month and moving to a new part of town along with a mate. I only stop in Telford at weekends anyway (my home is in Leicestershire, you should know that by now – do keep up) but I’m looking forward to this alteration in living arrangements.
 
The house in St. George’s was nicknamed ‘the crib’ when I moved in last April although, over time, the dynamic of the place changed quite dramatically – and not for the better – and, well, I’ll say no more for the moment.
 
*****
 
A friend of mine – and a friend with a rather large waistline – got a call from a charity called African Aid the other day. They asked if he would donate some clothes for starving African children. He told them to ‘fuck off’ because any child who can fit into his clothes certainly isn’t starving.
 
*****
 
Now I’m the least geeky person I know. I don’t do any of that Star Wars / Star Trek / shooting zombies on computer games and taking time off work to play the new Call of Duty sad, childish bollocks but I am a confirmed Dr Who anorak. The next episode (‘The Waters Of Mars’) will be broadcast on BBC1 at 7pm on Sunday 15th November. David Tennant will be making way for Matt Smith as The Doctor over Christmas and New Year and, as the clairvoyant woman said in the last instalment:
 
“You be careful, because your song is ending, sir. It is returning, it is returning through the dark. And then Doctor… oh, but then…he will knock four times.”
 
Every time I’ve watched that clip (see it at www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho along with trailers for the new episode) it gives me goosebumps. It’s wrong, yes I know. I’m a grown up. However, it’s just a compelling piece of dramatic television.
 
“Water always wins.”
 
The ‘geek switch’ is now off.
 
*****
 
Why do people click the ‘like’ button on their own Facebook status? The fact that they’ve written the status themselves should be enough of an indication to everyone that they like it.
 
*****
 
Great quote (1)
 
Aaleyah has just come back from a fortnight in Florida where she visited Disney World for her 13th birthday and I picked her up after school last week. She told me about a discussion they’d had at school about killing animals.
 
She said: “It’s wrong that animals are killed to make fur which people like Victoria Beckham wear. But I don’t mind animals being killed because I love bacon.”
 
*****
 
Great quote (2)
 
My parents are in London this week and are taking in a theatre show while they’re there. They’ve been to a few over the years and there was one they didn’t enjoy.
 
Mum said: “I can’t remember which musical it was but it definitely had a lot of songs in it.”
 
A musical with songs in it? Well that narrows it down…
 
*****
 
Telly news.
 
Benidorm was brilliant again, partly due to a wonderful cameo role from Una Stubbs as idiot Martin’s mother. My earliest memory of her was in Worzel Gummidge when she played Aunt Sally. According to Wikipedia she was: “a life-size fairground doll and Worzel’s femme fatale” while Worzel was “a walking, talking scarecrow with a set of interchangeable heads, each of which suited a particular occasion or would endow him with a specific skill.”
 
And you wonder why I turned out the way I did watching stuff like that!
 
*****
 
For the record, the actor portraying Worzel was Jon Pertwee, who was also Dr Who between 1970 and 1974.
 
The next Doctor (1974-1981) was Tom Baker – he’s now the voiceover man on Little Britain.
 
Baker was followed into the TARDIS (which stands for Time And Relative Dimension(s) In Space, of course) by Peter Davison (1981-1984).
 
Davison’s own real-life daughter, Georgia Moffett, played Sam Nixon’s daughter in The Bill before being cast as… wait for it… David Tennant’s daughter in Dr Who.
 
But like I said earlier, I’m not a geek or anything…
 
*****
 
Back in Benidorm…
 
I loved the quote from Mick Garvey about Madge with her braided hair… although I can’t actually remember who he said she looked like a cross between but it made me howl.
 
And I had to look away when Madge and Mel were bouncing on the trampoline because of something that happened to me 23 years ago. I nearly died on a trampoline. I’m being serious.
 
It happened in a PE lesson at Brockington High School in Enderby when I was 13. I’ve never had great physical balance and on this day I stumbled and fell. My head slipped through the gap between the bouncy fabric and the steel frame. My body was vertical and moving forward.
 
Had the teacher not been there, in the right place at the right time, to grab me firmly and stop me toppling over, my neck would’ve snapped on the outer frame. Instant death. Game over. No djwanker, no nothing. Just a grave with Geoff Peters: 1973-1986 on the headstone.
 
There’s no punchline to this. I’m not setting up some lame gag. It’s 100% true. There’s a fine line between life and death.
 
Mr Arthur, my PE teacher, wherever you are now, God bless you.
 
*****
 
I had another rather scary episode in 1999 when I was driving on the M1. I was doing about 80mph (yes, yes, breaking the speed limit, I know) when I braked and the car veered into the central reservation. It bounced off the barrier at speed and back into the traffic, somehow avoiding every other vehicle, before coming to rest on the hard shoulder.
 
The car was a write-off but I didn’t have a scratch on me. No other vehicle involved.
 
I know I’ve brought the tone of the blog down from the usual jovial nonsense but this is the random nature of what I write about, giving you an insight into my life.
 
*****
 
It seems like I blow smoke up the ass of Piers Morgan every week but his Life Stories show on ITV last weekend with Dannii Minogue was excellent.
 
*****
 
Men vs Women – Part 2 of 6
 
MONEY

A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.

A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving gel, razor, shower gel and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 197. A man would not be able to identify more than 10 of these.

 
Part 3 in this series next week.
 
*****
 
From the letters page at Viz magazine: “To give herself more credibility, Jennifer Lopez took the first letter of her first name and the first syllable of her surname and successfully re-branded herself as the more ‘urban sounding’ J-Lo. I can’t think why Pete Doherty, with his street-cred on the wane, hasn’t done the same thing.”
 
*****
 
And finally… they say that 50% of marriages end with a divorce. That’s not as bad as it sounds when you realise how the other half end.
 
If you need that explaining, please don’t return here next week, you dumbass.
 
.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Cheers for now,
Geoff / DJ Wanker

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NSFW November Inaugural Edition!: Miss November 1954, Diane Hunter

NSFW November Inaugural Edition – Diane Hunter, the first Miss November, Playboy, 1954. And a redhead, no less.

The lovely and talented Diane Hunter’s official website states that she has the distinction of being the only living model to have appeared in the very first issue of Playboy, in December 1953. A popular pinup model, she was highly sought to pose for art, too, perhaps due in part to her strong resemblance to legendary burlesque star Tempest Storm, who was out of Hollywood at the time and hiding out in my husband’s hometown with her gangster boyfriend to avoid umpteen contracts for mob hits from Mickey Cohen down in L.A. It always comes back to dirty, filthy, Porno Portland, doesn’t it?

Anyway, having appeared in the debut issue of Playboy, with Marilyn Monroe as the centerfold of sorts (official centerfolds didn’t really start until ‘54), Diane came back to the magazine to pose as the centerfold for November 1954.

According to the wiki, the average payout for a centerfold appearance at this time was around $500. Personally, I think that’s pretty good money. “Retired and single these days, Diane lives on Social Security, odd jobs and whatever money she earns off of her photos. She enjoys life and loves to hear from her fans.” — Official Site

Her real name is Gale Rita Morin, and yes, you can email her any ol' time to request autographed pictures or just shoot the breeze: GaleRMorin@aol.com. “All photos are 8″x10″ and sell for $20, each hand signed by Diane Hunter. Send a SASE or include $4 for postage” (thus spake the official site).

Here’s a couple of recent pictures to wind things down.

I think that is some impressive staying power and I hope you think the same. God bless the good lord and the old habit of corset training: the woman looks awfully damned good for 75 and seems to have kept a sunny outlook. Good on her. I’m feeling more cheerful about this month already.

Join me tomorrow for more NSFW November!

The Beauty is in the Belly....Dancing

Today’s guest post for Just Move Mondays is from Jennifer, who is, apparently, Fat and Not Afraid!

Enjoy!

Hi there!  I’m Jennifer from over at www.fatandnotafraid.viviti.com.  I’ve been meaning to write a guest-post for the fabulous Zaftig Chicks for a couple of months now but alas, teacher’s college has been getting in the way.  Today, however, I needed a personal day so I took it.  This isn’t something I do too often, so I really made the most of it.  I did NOTHING.  Lol  Well, nothing but write for ZC but that’s something, so it doesn’t count.  You can learn more about me, if you want to, in the About Me section of my website.  Onwards with the post!

About a year and a half ago I discovered bellydancing.  This was about 4 months after I discovered the Fatosphere through a close friend.  I had been having a very difficult time with my body and was at a time when my health wasn’t very good, especially emotionally.  Through a different friend, who had been the doula* for my son’s birth, I learned that she was going to be starting up bellydance classes and she thought it might help me to go.  Katie, doula and dancer, is a very voluptuous woman but I didn’t doubt for a second that she could dance; she was so full of life and energy the minute you met her you knew she was extraordinary.  After some debate I decided to go, and a couple of friends signed up with me.  (Yes, I’m lucky to have lots of good friends!  I was also lucky that my mom paid for the classes or I wouldn’t have been able to afford it.)

The first night I remember clearly; the studio walls were a light crème colour and there was fun drum music coming from an Ipod setup on a window sill. There were no mirrors, just curtained windows along one wall and two at the front that looked out over the street below.  It was warm, being early May, but not so much we couldn’t be comfortable.  There were a lot of different bodies as well, everything from very slim to very large and everything in between, including myself.  I remember being so angry at myself, at my body, and not sure if I could do it, but as soon as Katie started us in a warmup, it fell away.  We stretched and started dancing; hip lifts and shimmies to start but it was a good start.  I forgot, for a time, that I was angry and betrayed, I forgot that I was clumsy and couldn’t dance, I didn’t care that there were women around me who were thinner or fatter or anything.  We all just concentrated on moving our muscles and dancing and that was enough.

Katie made a point of telling us about the history of the dance, how it started as a dance for women by women and that your body’s size doesn’t matter; in fact, some moves look better if you have fat to emphasize what your muscles are doing.  Our instructor had a body like that and she laughed about it and we laughed with her.  She was happy with her body, at peace.  Through the next 6 weeks I allowed myself to try that, to try to dance, to try to be graceful and sensual and powerful and all of these things I felt I lacked, or had been taken from me, because of my body.  We reached a truce and by the end of the classes most of us felt confident enough to dance in a summer festival with Katie.  We had been working on a simple routine and I’m happy to say that I was there and did my best, while my husband and son watched from the sidelines.  It was a new beginning for us and I’m grateful to this day to have had the opportunity to try.

Danicin' Jennifer!

The fabulous Katie, my son and hubby