If you eat right and you exercise and you get breast implants, you can look like us.
• Gena Lee Nolin, of Baywatch and The Price Is Right fame
You’re probably disappointed that there’s no cleavage here. Nothing but talk, talk, talk. But that’s what I do, look for the words about the bosomy stuff. I sometimes search the top twenty-five free apps for my iPhone when I’m in the car (as a passenger, of course) and I don’t have papers to read or I’ve forgotten to bring something else along to work on. How else would I discover that I can take a picture and turn it into a Lego look-alike (goodbye, facial flaws!). How else would I know that I can turn my phone into a fireplace or a flashlight or a Zippo® lighter? There is much time-wastery to explore and I am especially attracted to the breast stuff, most recently The Great Boob Party, the app “Celebrating Big Breasts.” Whoopee!
My curiosity is limited to wishing there was a free preview. Alas, no, there is not. All I can do is read the following longingly, aware, however, that there probably aren’t any breast words on this app, and thus, it would be useless for my purposes. Still, it’s good to know it exists since it confirms my point here, that the U.S. of A is breast obsessed. I used to think it was just men, but no. The ladies love their girls too.
Here’s what you’ll get if you download The Great Boob Party. I will allow its creators to tempt you with their own words:
If you have a fondness for big-breasted women (and who doesn’t?), then consider this your VIP pass to the biggest party available at the app store. The creators of UK Babes and Paradise TV have done it yet again, this time bringing you the biggest and best cleavage currently available free of charge anywhere.
With Boob Party on your iPhone or iPod Touch, you will have your hands full of the most bodacious, buxom bodies ever to grace a bikini. Features DD-cup-sized models.
Download it now to experience the ultimate bikini app focusing on big breasts, and party on! Choose your favorite gal and save her as wallpaper; or share her with your friends. Once you get a reputation for forwarding these hotties, you’ll never have a problem getting your pals to open your emails again! Replace that picture of your ex-girlfriend with these heavenly bodies.
I’m fascinated by the thought of porn in a pocket, although I don’t really consider breasts to be porn. Still, I witness the brouhaha that occurs when someone suspects that a mother might be breastfeeding a baby in the vicinity or the apocalyptic uproar over JJ’s exposed breast and I know that there are those who do. Perhaps I’m just too close to the subject.
Here’s a bit of tata talk:
I can’t believe people got so upset at the sight of a single breast! America is so parochial, I may just have to move to Europe where people are more mature about things like that!
• Janet Jackson
Breastfeeding should not be attempted by fathers with hairy chests, since they can make the baby sneeze and give it wind.
• Mike Harding
An ounce of breast milk is even more potent than the finest tequila.
• Tori Amos
Use now and then a little Exercise a quarter of an Hour before Meals, as to swing a Weight, or swing your Arms about with a small Weight in each Hand; to leap, or the like, for that stirs the Muscles of the Breast.
• Benjamin Franklin
What is it with this chick? Does she have beer-flavored nipples?
• Heath Ledger, 10 Things I Hate About You
He’s a big boob hunting for his mate—two of them.
• Overheard in Ashland, Oregon, January 5, 2010
On a good night, I get underwear, bras, and hotel room keys thrown onstage. . .you start to think that you’re Tom Jones.
• Keanu Reeves
I’m definitely not a prude about sex or nudity. I just don’t want to do anything that will end up as a grab on a porn site.
• Natalie Portman, E! Weekend Daily 10, January 9, 2010
Being a sex symbol is a heavy load to carry, especially when one is tired, hurt, and bewildered.
• Marilyn Monroe
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