It’s kind of funny, I had to be convinced to go to an NYE party 4 days ago, mostly because I had this weird feeling that something would go horribly wrong if I attended. Well, after being able to piece the night together it wasn’t as horrible as originally thought, but still kind of, um, how do you say, weird.
Some context, because I realize, dear readers, that if you weren’t at the party in question you will have no idea what I am talking about, so here goes.
I get invited invited to go the party by this girl I had met maybe a month ago or so, but I really don’t feel confident in my ability to be sociable around people I don’t know very well, so I come up with excuses to not go. She insists, I hesitate and eventually just say “I don’t think so, but I’ll give you a shout later on this week”. Unfortunately I have a change of heart and end up going despite my retrospectively good instincts. Honestly, I didn’t see this as a good opportunity to meet new people, but rather a chance to alienate myself from the new friends I had made earlier this school year. Mission kind of accomplished.
So Kate and I are hanging out at my apartment waiting for the party to start. She was dressed in the height of Milanese fashion: an American Apparel hoodie draped over some sort of fucking black dress bullshit. On my end, I sport the traditional native garb of a 17-feather headdress, fox fur scarf, bear skin slacks, and a blazer made entirely of Caucasians from the American Mid-West. You can’t tell right now dear readers, but the fox fur was freshly skinned, as the said blazer had blood stains on it. Anyway, 9pm rolls around and we head to the party, both sporting bottles of fine wine. We arrive, and my fears are correct, I don’t really know anyone there at this early point, so Kate and I engage in a drinking game to drown out the awkwardness. The rules are simple, pour wine into glasses and chug them. I win by an impressive margin. I’m not entirely obliterated at this point, people that I know start to show up, and I am being fairly sociable and polite. Probably unfunny, but at the very least non-offensive. I get a tour of the house, which is very beautiful and quite large, as the occupants are plantation owners in Africa who specialize in the sale of blood diamonds. Actually that’s not true, I really don’t know what the family does, but they’re doing something right if they can afford such a sweet house. Anyway, so far so good.
After the whole wine contest, I still feel a little too sober, so I find this communal jug of homemade eggnog with lots of bourbon in it. I think I was the only one drinking it. I then find this quart of Sky Vodka, and finish 3/4 of it. I am now blacked out and remember very little from this point onwards, so the story is mostly hearsay. I actually remember some of it, but only in little pieces, so I shall retell in little pieces. OK, so one of my friends tells me something slightly discouraging, and I react by making a not-so-slightly bad decision very publicly… we’ll leave it at that. Post-bad decision, I see this bizarre green guy running around the house, I am freaked out. Apparently I become very aggressive and belligerent and start threatening a guy’s life, slam one of my friend’s into the kitchen wall, punch out another friend, and start yelling loudly about the party. I guess I am getting so loud that everyone in attendance was growing more silent to hear what I was saying, shit I don’t even remember, but I am told it was pretty bad. Also, I take my arm and sweep some food off of the island in the kitchen (it was a pot-luck) including a tray of fortune cookies which I decide to trample so they can’t be cleaned up easily. After more insulting belligerence, I run outside and get sick on the doorstep and then the front lawn. While I puke, some girl comes in the front door screaming hysterically about something. This was not funny, it was actually quite terrifying. I don’t know the circumstances of the hysteria, but it must have been something pretty serious. Just another bizarre aspect of the night. Anyway, I make it home. I wake up. I feel horrible.
I then make a round of apologies. One goes to the guy I supposedly threatened or insulted, to which I received a good response. A good response being that he had no clue what the fuck I was talking about. I then apologize to the host whom also had no clue what I was talking about. Both apologies being sincere, long-winded, and fairly self-deprecating, seemed pretty stupid after this, but whatever, the stuff I was told about my actions made me feel like a piece of shit. But maybe I wasn’t as bad as I was lead to believe. Either way, I didn’t seem to have alienated myself from anyone… except the host, and the dude I punched out.
Not a bad NYE considering that I usually spend it playing Deal or No Deal in New Brunswick.
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