I’ve been thinking about you, and last night way too much today.
Half the time because it makes me smile, partly because I’m putting it all back together again in my head, and also just because I overthink things way too much.
Which is your disclaimer, really, and an apology almost. Or maybe I’m just justifying why I would make a bigger deal of something than necessary by writing about it.
I know theoretically we should have some sort of talk about intentions, or ideas, or maybe just how to work together comfortably. And I assume there’s something important and serious that should be addressed, or just me talking about how I just got out of a relationship that was really long, and shouldn’t be involved with anyone at all, or possibly how spending 3 or 4 hours making out with a coworker on a heavily drunken Wednesday night is just about the dumbest thing I’ve done this month week.
But what I really think is that last night was the most fun I’ve had in ages. And that I really really enjoy making out with you, and am also enjoying the thoughts of how much fun it would be for that to go farther. And, as much as it actually pains me to write this, due to general fear of rejection, I suppose – I really like you. I can’t actually think of anyone I’ve ever met whom I agree with about so many things. Or whom I find so endlessly fascinating. I mean, I even like your pretentions, which is terribly shocking.
And I’m a little freaked out by that, and truthfully I was well before the kissing began, and possibly even before yesterday, being in this whole post break up transition, and really happy to be ‘finding’ myself again. And realizing that being involved with a coworker is a big hot mess.
Jesus, I just wrote 2 entire paragraphs that made me cringe. I think I’ll go write some fucking greeting cards now so I can get the sappy/predictable shit out and go back to my façade of vulgarity and constant streams of sex and boob talk.
Anyway, I guess I do want to know where you’re coming from in this situation. I know you were telling me about how you don’t do the random hook ups and whatnot, and you definitely seem to be a relationship guy, but if you’d like to try friends with benefits….well, that could be fun.
And if you’re super uncomfortable now, that’s totally cool. I’ll just, uh, I don’t know, move to a new desk and pretend we don’t really know each other.
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