So I almost made a huge mistake at work. This lady, who was very quiet most of her time in the store, spent a lot of money on panties. I mean… a lot. And before she checked out, she was folding over… 30 panties at the back cash wrap… she was going through the ones she had picked out I guess… Anyways, I try to um… Start a conversation, and it didn’t go well. I’m not going to elaborate on the whole dialogue, but it basically went like this. I said, “Wow, are you going to buy all those panties.” Which, I know in retrospect was… a stupid thing to say… She said, “Yeah.” And I said, as I realized that I had sounded like I was insulting the woman, attempted to backtrack using the tone of my voice, and the inside of my elbows… “Well! Of course, I mean… Ok! If you need anything, just let me know!”
I rushed to clock out of my time, and then waited outside the store until she left to see if I still had a job. No complaint. Still have job.
However, I was equally proud when I sold some guys some cologne. I like when guys come into the store, because they are completely uncomfortable. As soon as they enter the store, and a female voice is singing some unknown indie jazz tune in french, they are overwhelmed by the smell of perfume and the pink, and the hundreds upon hundreds of panties and bras just staring them in the face. They see me, and they breathe a little easier. Holy crap, a guy works here. Lucky fuck. Dude, why am I analyzing a dude so much in a girly store… Where’s Tina? She should totally try on this teddy, it’s pretty ugly but kinda hot. What’s Lip Plumper?
But I can speak to these guys. Not about sports or anything, though. But I can pretend cause I’m an actor. Let’s go Bears. And Chiefs.
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