by sylvia
So Bianca’s post yesterday about privilege really riled some people up. Was what she said really that controversial?
Because here’s the thing – I didn’t want Bianca to post that post. I didn’t agree with her. I’m still not sure I agree with her. But see, that’s the beauty of this site – we like to hear opposing viewpoints (provided they are not “fat people gross, skinny people wonderful” trolly garbage). So, every once in a while, Bianca and I are going to have opposing viewpoints from each other.
Sure, Bianca may read this post and think I’m being a chicken, but hey- that’s her opinion, right? The truth of the matter is, Bianca and I have had very different paths up to this point. Each of our experiences has made us who we are. And regardless of those experiences, we get along really well. Would we have been friends in high school? Probably not. But highschoolers are dipshits. The point is, no matter what happened to us when we were younger, it makes us who we are today. And we’re pretty freakin’ awesome, regardless of the subjective “privileges” or “disadvantages” we may have or had.
We’re just people, damnit. Since when does everything come down to such black & white concepts as “you have this so you should be this way, you don’t have that, so you should be this way?”
The Rotund actually called Bianca a “douchebag”. Really? A feminine hygiene product? A guy with too much guy-liner and hair gel who is loud and obnoxious? Someone who wears too much Axe? Ahhhh….can you feel the acceptance giving you a great big hug? Doesn’t it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?
So yes, I get that The Rotund wrote a book with Kate Harding. What surprises me is that The Rotund doesn’t write for Shapely Prose. It might save people some time if they only have to write narrow-minded comments on one site instead of two.
And you know what? I thought this whole community was about “FAT ACCEPTANCE.” Well, I think what we’ve seen over the last few weeks is that you are only welcome in the Queendom if you agree with everything the Queen and/or Queens and her/their minions have to say. Other than that, you are a douchebag troll.
How dare you have a differing opinion! Let’s just hash out the same recycled garbage over and over again within our comfortable and safe bubble and make sure anyone – ANYONE – that does not agree with us is BANNED! SHUNNED! MADE A MOCKERY OF! Because that is what sane adults do.
They must be so much fun at parties.
Let me offer you some insight into the conversation Bianca and I had prior to the infamous privilege post:
Sylvia: OK, I feel alienated by your post.
Bianca: Why?
Sylvia: Well, because I didn’t grow up pretty or modelesque with Hollywood looks, and I do get discriminated against because of my size.
Bianca: I’m not trying to alienate people, it’s just how I feel. I don’t think I should apologize for it, but I really don’t know what to do with the fact now that I have come to terms with it.
Sylvia: You don’t want to mention anything about the struggles you had growing up?
Bianca: Nope. I don’t want to make excuses that it’s ok that I’m x, y & z because a, b & c happened.
Sylvia: If that’s how you feel and you’re being honest, go for it.
So maybe Bianca knows more about “privilege” than I do (as far as the whole “101″ bullshit goes). Was her post “wrong”? We got a mixed response, but I would say wrong or right, it was subjective.
So it got me thinking about my own “privilege.” Hell, I didn’t even know there was such a thing as “privilege” in this community, and all these years I’ve been functioning without feeling guilty?
Oh wait, I have been feeling guilty. About everything. Maybe it’s the product of being raised Catholic and/or being the youngest in the family (and unfortunately the most sensitive in a family of people who have a tough time with emotions), but yeah. I feel (or felt) guilty EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE. For shit that isn’t even remotely my fault. Because my parents “make me” feel guilty, and I let them.
FUCK THAT.
Now I’m supposed to evaluate all my privilege and then try not to feel bad about it?
Ok, maybe I can do that, because I’m on all this whole “Acceptance” kick. But you know what? Do you have any idea how neurotic I am? What makes you think I’m going to just let this go?
Are people on the street looking at me and saying “look, she’s fat, but she’s also white, drives a decent car, has a job, so I have more reason to hate her?” And then we gotta worry about writing this blog, putting ourselves out there, and being called “douchebags” and “bitches” in the process, and not from trolls, but from other people in FA?!?!
Oh Lordy Lordy – it’s official. The insanity train has left the station and I have business class seats.
Oh, there goes my train-seat privilege again.
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