Friday, October 16, 2009

Oh Mongoose and Barbara Hershey, WHY

Dammit, Uncle Buck was on TV again. I rarely watch TV, but when I do, I watch with a vengeance. I flip it on to be a soundtrack to my productivity, because it’s probably better that the TV’s on than the neighbors hearing me scream Police songs in the kitchen again. And when I turn the damn thing on, there’s always something that will make me sit right down and watch it. The movies that I will ALWAYS sit down and watch on TV, no matter what, go like this:

- Uncle Buck

Long live the stogie, UB! Don't eat too much cheese, it'll bind up your plumbing inside.

- Any of the National Lampoon Vacation movies

"Maximum quaintness."

- Beaches.

Do you think we can make every female viewer start menopause by the end of this movie? Yes, I think so.

That’s right, you heard me. BEACHES. (Shut up.) I think it just reminds me of when my mom and I lived with our friend when I was little. She totally had Beaches on VHS and I would pop it in the awesome VCR (that purred when playing) while sick from school. I thought it was so rad that they would let me watch it, even though I was supposed to ignore it when they said hell and damn and when CC sings the Otto Titslinger song. I don’t think I even knew what ‘tit’ meant back then, but I liked the movie all the same. I didn’t actually see the ending until maybe a year or two later due to my knack for falling asleep 2/3 of the way through movies — what a sad way for that one to end! The sleep thing is also why I’ve never seen the ending to all of the Land Before Timeses and any of the Matrix movies. DON’T TELL ME IF SOMEONE DIES. That’s what happened with Top Gun. I don’t need that sass.

No comments:

Post a Comment